Requiem for a Nun

REQUIEM FOR A NUN 273

vidual, still refusable, giving her at least (this time) the

similitude of being wooed, of an opportunity to say Yes first, letting

her even believe she could say either one of yes or no. I imagine that

he (the new one, the blackmailer) even looked like his brother-a

younger Red, the Red of a few years even before she knew him, and-if

you will permit it-less stained, so that in a way it may have seemed

to her that here at last even she might slough away the six years'

soilure of struggle and repentance and terror to no avail. And if this

is what you meant, then you are right too: a man, at least a man,

after six years of that sort of forgiving which debased not only the

forgiven but the forgiven's gratitude too-a bad man of course, a

criminal by intent regardless of bow cramped his opportunities may

have been up to this moment; and, capable of blackmail, vicious and

not merely competent to, but destined to, bring nothing but evil and

disaster and ruin to anyone foolish enough to enter his orbit, cast

her lot with his. Butby comparison, that six years of comparison-at

least a man-a man so single, so hard and ruthless, so impeccable in

amorality, as to have a kind of integrity, purity, who would not only

never need nor intend to forgive anyone anything, he would never even

realise that anyone expected him to forgive anyone anything; who

wouldn't even bother to forgive her if it ever dawned on him that he

had the opportunity, but instead would simply black her eyes and knock

a few teeth out and fling her into the gutter: so that she could rest

secure forever in the knowledge that, until she found herself with a

black eye and or spitting teeth in the gutter, he would never even

know he had anything to forgive her for.

This time, the lights do not flicker. They begin to dim steadily toward

and then into complete darkness as Stevens continues.

Nancy was the confidante, at first, while she-Nancy -still believed

probably that the only problem, factor, was how to raise the money the

blackmailer demanded, without letting the boss, the master, the

husband find out about it; finding, discovering-this is still

Nancy-realising probably that she had not really been a confidante for

a good while, a long while before she discovered that what she

actually was, was a spy: on her employer: not realising until

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