The Mare

Velvet

The bareback class started early in the morning before it was hot. I woke up even before the alarm, swimming like a fish out of sleep, making clouds of mud come up from the bottom. Clouds of dream settled down and I remembered: Shawn. I was dreaming of his hands on me even though I’d said no. Except in the dream, he turned into Dominic and I said yes. And then the alarm beat my head and I slammed my hand on it and got up to go, feeling the dream still in my body while I ate scrambled eggs.

The class met in the barn. There were six girls and they all knew each other, but except for Heather they didn’t know me and she acted like she didn’t know me. Then Beverly came in carrying a whip. Not a crop or a lunge whip, but a black whip so big she had it looped around her arm. My heart pounded; something swam out of dark privacy and swam away. We went outside and she said, “Meet my friend and helper,” and she cracked her whip hard, like black lightning, and the cats ran with their tails low. Everybody was very quiet when she told us to go get our horses.

I didn’t have a horse so I said, “Which horse should I get, Miss Beverly?”

She said, “I think Joker.”

Which made me feel funny because…she didn’t like Joker. Because he threw her high, wide, and handsome.