The Mare

Velvet

Before I left I went across the street to look at the old barn again. It was freezing cold but still I thought someone would be there, maybe Pat giving a lesson in the arena indoors. But nobody was there except the horses chewing grain and giving out heat. Then Gare came around the corner singing something corny — she saw me and got her friendly shy-dog face, which made me feel embarrassed but sorta happy. She said she was going to ride in the arena, did I want to?

I liked Gare, even if she was dumb, because of how she helped me get up on Fiery Girl and also for how she cried for Joker when Beverly was a bitch to him. But I still didn’t know what to talk about with her. That I lied about being in a gang made it worse, but I couldn’t take it back, it would be too embarrassing. She’d say, “What’s it like being in a gang?” and I’d say, “We don’t talk about it unless we know you.” And she’d say nothin’.

But we didn’t have to talk about anything to ride together. I tacked up Little Tina while she tacked up Joker three stalls over and she yelled to me that it was better now ’cause Heather wasn’t at the barn anymore since she had a fight with Pat about never cleaning Totally’s feet and he got thrush. Then we led the horses out and the talking was all in their eyes and soft-up necks and our hands on the reins and the heavy gate coming open.

Then we were riding, Tina following Joker until I passed on the outside, Gare yelling, “Bitch!” but laughing. Some of the lights were out, so the arena was dark and like a place bats would fly, except for broken parts that let in the cold and light, you could see tiny branches covered in ice. We warmed up, walk, trot, canter, and even though we were going in different directions and not following nobody, it was like we were together at the stomach. And then I did the two-point, stretching, not leaning. She said, “Horse whisper-ass!” I put my leg on Tina, made her feel me, counting my strides, rushed seven, then slow seven. I sat back and controlled my release, and she took them easy, three in a row; I could feel her happiness like I can smell perfume. Gare couldn’t make Joker take any jump and she fell off trying. But she just cursed and got back on him. She said, “Damn, you really are the horse whisper-ess!”

And I felt good again. Everything felt right again. Nut was okay and even if Pat didn’t have money, she had the ability. And I had Fiery Girl. And I had new things to teach her. And Ginger didn’t care about that woman at the party, so it must not’ve been what I thought.