The Mare

Ginger

So after that she relaxed. She ate and even talked with my friends, smiling, wanting to feel Carolina’s pregnant belly. They found her delightful. Mrs. Vargas told us a story about having to take the brother to the emergency room because his stomach hurt. I didn’t believe her, but I was just glad she was all right. Even if she said it was too late for Velvet to come home, and asked if I could keep her for the night.

Julian said we were welcome to the guest room. We had to sleep in the same bed, but Velvet didn’t mind. We got under the covers and settled in back-to-back, with the excited feeling of a sleepover. “Good-night,” I said.

“Good-night,” she answered.

“Good-night!” I said.

“Good-night!” she replied.

We were quiet and I thought I could feel her sinking into sleep. Then she said, “I need to ask you something.”

“What?”

She didn’t answer right away. I turned my head to encourage her.

“Why is it…” She stopped. Her voice came very earnest in the dark. “Why is it that white people can walk their path in a way that black people — and people of my color — cannot?”

“Honey,” I said. “You just don’t know enough about white people.”

“What do you mean?”

“The white people you see where we live have money. They all know each other. They’re not going to start trouble, because they have something to lose. White people start with advantages, you know that, right?”

She said, “Yeah,” but uncertainly.

“And still, sometimes they wind up going down the toilet anyway. Have you ever heard about the Hell’s Angels? They were worse in their day than any gang you’ve heard of. Murderers, rapists. And they were all white. They had the advantages. They became what they were because they wanted to, not because they had to. My sister was like that. That’s what I mean when I say ‘self-destructive.’ ”

I felt her thinking. I knew she wanted to say something but didn’t know what. I waited. She didn’t say anything. I said, “We can talk about it in the morning if you want.”

“Okay,” she said.

“Okay, then. Good-night for real.”