The Mare

Velvet

She said, You think I’m rich? You think two hundred dollars is pocket change for me? Why do you do this shit? You’re almost fourteen! I said, I’m sorry, but she didn’t even say, It’s okay, it’s all right. She said she’s afraid. She’s afraid because we’re drifting apart. I wanted to say, No, we’re not, but I couldn’t because we were. She said I couldn’t come for the weekend, making it happen more. I told her it didn’t matter. I wasn’t riding in any competition anyway, so I didn’t have to come up. And she’s, Mwah, mwah, mwah. Is that why you keyed that lady’s car and got them to call me? Because you don’t want to come up, you don’t even care about your horse anymore? Why you acting like this? Mwah, mwah, mwah!

I decided then that I was going out to find Dominic and make him talk to me. And if I couldn’t find him, then I’d find something, somebody, I didn’t care. At night I lay down in my clothes with my eye makeup on thick. But my mom suddenly got up and went past my room, bumping on the wall like she’s blind and not even cursing. She went into the bathroom and I heard a thump and then she puked horrible, like her gut was coming out. It scared me, but I thought, Good, she definitely won’t hear me leave, and I went out into the hall. I got to the door and stopped, waiting for some noise to cover me. The sink water ran; I flipped the lock. There was another thump, like maybe she fell; I stopped and listened. She groaned and it yanked me inside, she sounded so weak, I never heard her weak. She puked more, but weaker, like it was hard even to puke. I flipped back the lock and went to her.