X-Treme Latin (Lingua Latina Extrema)

Business Latin-SERMO LATINUS NEGOTIALIS

I respectfully decline to answer on the grounds that anything I might say would be a bald-faced lie

Recuso reverenter ne respondeam, quia quicquid dicam id sit mendacium impudens

It wasn’t all done with smoke and mirrors-there were some bells and whistles, too

Non solum fumo speculisque, sed etiam tintinnabulis fistulisque factum est

It wasn’t really a loss, it was a loan, which of course shows up as a profit

Non vero damnum erat sed mutuum, quod scilicet in rationibus existimatur lucrum

I was out of the loop, but I distinctly remember asking if it passed the smell test

Consilii particeps non eram, tamen memini clare me rogare num id insidias oleret

Due to an alien abduction, I have no recollection of anything else during that particular period of time

Quod raptus sum a transaetheriis, omnia quae evenerunt illo tempore de memoria mea exciderunt

I only sold my stock because a gypsy fortune-teller told me it was an unlucky month for any company with a vowel in its name

Omnes partes meas vendidi tantummodo eo, quod Aegyptia sortilega mihi dixit mensem infaustum esse cuiquam societati quae vocalem in nomine habet

Plus which, I needed cash to buy a condominium for my daughter’s hamster

Mihi autem pecunia opus erat ad domicilium emendum criceto filiae meae

I mistook the shredder for a Xerox machine

Discissorem esse Xerographium perperam putavi

Look, let me off the hook and I will rat out every single person in the whole company

Age, da mihi veniam ac impunitatem, deferam unumquemque hominum in societate