How to Be a Carioca

Lesson 7 Dealing With Money

Looking good? Great. The next Step is to put some grana [’grruh nuh] (cash) in your purse or pocket.

Until not too long ago, one of the more complicated aspects of everyday life in Rio was, without a doubt, the local currency. And for good reason. Due to an accumulated three-decade inflation rate of one quadrillion percent (that’s right, folks), Brazilian currency changed from the cruzeiro to the cruzado, to the cruzado novo, back to the cruzeiro, to the cruzeiro real, to the URV (a clever stopgap pseudo-currency), and on to the real [hay ’yowl], while dropping a bunch of zeros along the way and adding an array of new bills and coins. If you are mildly confused as to the value of Brazilian bills and coins, you had best pull them all out, lay them on a table, and begin studying. Needless to say, a true Carioca never makes mistakes when dealing with money.

Although Brazil’s currency is currently the real, just to complicate matters you will come across two versions of the ten real bill that differ in color, texture, and artistic motif. Both are in circulation and worth exactly the same thing. As to coins, you will come across two versions for each value that differ in color, size, and artistic motif. Both are also in circulation and worth exactly the same thing!

Are you thoroughly confused with all this? That’s OK. Just read on.

Due to the lingering taste of galloping inflation and Brazil’s hefty interest rates, Rio is populated by approximately ten million economists. If you want to keep the value of your funds in check like a true Carioca, it’s very simple. Just peruse the newspaper on a daily basis for the current dollar and euro exchange rates. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to keep an eye on the current TR, TRD, TBF, CDB, DI, CD-DI, TBC/TBAN, IGP-M, IGP-DI, FIF, IPC-DI, INPC, IPCA-FIPE, IRF-M, TJLP, CPI, etc.

Other «currencies»: Now that you are confident about the value of your bills and coins, it is necessary to understand how to use them. Memorize the following words and phrases, put them to use, and you, too, will be dealing with money like a real Carioca:

cheque voador [‘sheh kee voh ah ‘doh]: a flying check that never lands (also known as cheque-borracha);

cheque-bumerangue [‘sheh kee boo meh ‘rrayn gee]: a check that is intentionally filled out incorrectly and thus keeps coming back to you;

cheque especial [‘sheh key shpeh see ‘yahl]: a line of credit that covers cheques voadores and cheques-bumerangues.

Imagine, for example, that you are in a local store and you find a pair of shoes that you can’t live without. When you inquire as to the price, it will, of course, be quoted in reais [hay ‘eyesh]. At this point, the Carioca will place his right index finger on his right cheek, roll his eyes, and ponder the issue at hand. By paving with three predated checks, he will get clobbered with a healthy interest on his cheque especial. If paid by credit card in six easy installments, it will cost a percentage more, but depending on the day the card payment is due, the Carioca might save a substantial percentage off the interest he is already paving on his cheque especial. There is always the option of making a dozen installment payments, in which case, hedging his bet on a decrease in interest rates, he just might come out ahead. So how much did those shoes cost after all?

Consequently, a Carioca never really knows how much money he has or how much he is spending. He just knows that he is earning too little and spending too much and adjusts his life accordingly. A true Carioca will never have more than a little change in his pocket. At least three credit cards with different due dates and a few cheques voadores are the best weapons with which to keep up with expenses.

Remember: a real Carioca never despairs over financial matters. After all, there is nothing that a day at the beach can’t cure. Besides, that is one thing that’s free.