How to Be a Carioca

Are you wondering how far you’ve traveled down the road to becoming a true Carioca? Fique numa boa! (Stay cool!) Take the following true or false quiz and test your Cariocaness:

T or F 1. Traffic in Rio flows like a dream.

T or F 2. Maracanã is a pasta dish.

T or F 3. The statue of Christ is on Sugar Loaf Mountain.

T or F 4. Cariocas never stay at the beach after five p.m.

T or F 5. Cariocas always park their cars right in front of where they’re planning to go.

T or F 6. A Carioca policeman is always polite and helpful.

T or F 7. When riding on a city bus you should always hang on for dear life.

T or F 8. If you’re not a local, expect a rip-off when taking a taxi.

T or F 9. Drivers in Rio are very respectful of the law and other drivers on the road.

T or F 10. There is always a place to park your car in Rio.

T or F 11. Your car is safe when there is a flanelinha around.

T or F 12. Someone will be leaning or sitting on your car when you return to it.

T or F 13. Your car may not be there when you return.

T or F 14. Cariocas only drink three beers.

T or F 15. Bathing suits in Rio are meant for swimming.

T or F 16. The beach is closed at night.

T or F 17. Batucada rhythms are made by drum playing only.

T or F 18. Cariocas love people from Sao Paulo.

T or F 19. A true Carioca will return home by two a.m.

T or F 20. If you’re under eighteen, drinking at bars will be very difficult.

T or F 21. Motels in Rio are meant for tired travelers.

T or F 22. Policemen in Rio are always on the up-and-up.

T or F 23. Politicians in Brazil are always on the up-and-up.

T or F 24. Soccer is a Carioca sport.

T or F 25. Surfing is a Carioca sport.

T or F 26. Hang gliding is a Carioca sport.

T or F 27. Scheming is a Carioca sport.

T or F 28. Appreciating women’s bundas is a Carioca sport.

T or F 29. A true Carioca does not need a tan.

T or F 30. The drivers triple parked in the drawing below will receive multas, and their cars will be towed away.

Answers to the Carioca IQ quiz

1. F. Nightmare is more like it.

2. F. Maybe after the fourth caipirinha.

3. F. You must have flunked geography if you missed this one.

4. F. Maybe, if it’s raining.

5. T. A parking space will be invented if there isn’t one.

6. T. As long as you are greasing his palm.

7. T. And also to your purse.

8. T. The heavier the accent, the more expensive the ride.

9. F. If you answered T, you’re in for a surprise.

10. F. Maybe after two a.m.

11. F. Your car is never safe in Rio.

12. T. If not trying to open it up.

13. T. Always carry extra money for a bus.

14. F. Only before the fourth one.

15. F. Not since the 1970s.

16. F. The beach is yours twenty-four hours a day!

17. F. A batucada is the use of anything available as a

percussion instrument.

18. F. Cariocas love to make fun of them.

19. F. Eight a.m. is more like it (in time for work).

20. F. Anybody who can reach the counter will be served.

21. F. Motels are for SEX!! If you are tired, you should go home.

22. T. And it snows in Rio.

23. F. And it snows in Brasilia.

24. T. Very much so.

25. T. Very much so.

26. T. Very much so.

27. T. Very much so, there is always some scheme going on.

28. T. Very much so, probably the most popular of all sports in Rio.

29. F. Yeah, right…

30. F. Yeah, right…

Results of the Carioca IQ test

Aí, beleza mermão! (Hey, cool buddy!) It’s time to sell the farm and move to the big city. You are definitely a true Carioca at heart.

You are headed on the right track. Try eating a few more day-old coxinhas de galinha at the boteco, and your score will improve, viu?

Aí! Qualé, seu gringo? (Hey! What’s up, you gringo?) Pull those polyesters back out of your closet, strap on your camera, and take a taxi to Corcovado. You are indeed a tourist, pal.