How to Be a Carioca

Lesson 19 Famous Carioca Lines

Although waiting in line is a national pastime, the Carioca considers it a happening and affectionately refers to line waiting as a programa de indio — meaning what Indians do for entertainment. Seeing a line forming anywhere, the Carioca will figure there must be something interesting at the end of it and will simply take his place in line. In fact, recent studies have shown that Cariocas spend more than thirty percent of their time patiently waiting in lines. Really…

In the event you find yourself face to face with a Carioca line, do as the Carioca does. Resort to any one of the following common jeitinhos, and it won’t be that bad after all:

Send your office boy to wait for you;

Pay a moleque de rua (street urchin) to wait for you;

Find someone you know near the front of the line to get for you whatever it is everyone is waiting for;

Tip someone near the front of the line to get for you whatever it is everyone is waiting for;

Cut in line and ignore the protests (can be very dangerous);

Get in line, then ask the person in front of you to save your place. Go for a few chopps or cafezinhos at the boteco, and then return to your place in line.

The beauty of the Carioca is his ability to make the best of any situation, and line waiting is one of them. Finding himself in front of a forty to fifty minute line, the Carioca’s first reaction might be to mutter, «Tôfu» [toh ’foo] («I’m screwed»). But once in line he’ll have a grand time making new friends and comparing opinions on current events or the latest episode of the novela das oito with those sharing the same line.

Wait in a few of the following Carioca favorite lines, and soon you, too, will be feeling like a real Carioca:

• Bank line between the fifth and the tenth of each month

• Cash register lines at any Barra supermarket on Saturdays

• Carnival parade ticket line

• Rest room line at the Carnival parade

• Visa line at the American Consulate

• Movie line on opening day of a major feature

• Movie line on the following week for the same movie

• Badalada restaurant line on a Saturday night

• Badalada night club line on a Saturday night

• Post office line at any time of the day

• Motel car lines on a Friday night

• Duty Free Shop line at Tom Jobim International airport

• Immigration line at Tom Jobim International airport

• Customs line at Tom Jobim International airport

• Taxi line at Santos Dumont airport at seven p.m.

• Maracanã Stadium ticket line for a final championship game

• Beverage bar line at half time during a Fla-Flu game at Maracanã Stadium

• Gas station car lines right before any fuel price increase

• Bus line at the downtown garage building at six p.m.

• Garage parking line at the São Conrado Fashion Mall on Saturday nights

• Casa lotérica line when the Mega-Sena has accumulated

• Emergency line at any of the local municipal hospitals

• Line to vote on election day

• Line to receive INSS (social security) compensations