How to Be a Carioca

If you have decided that you are the adventurous type and are really getting into being a Carioca, eating out can definitely be an experience. Rio, the cosmopolitan city it is, offers a wide selection of excellent restaurants, and for special occasions you will find your own way to them. But being a real Carioca means that you will not go to the most expensive, and often the most snobbish, restaurant. You’ll go to the one with the most atmosphere.

The boteco

Teeming with atmosphere, the boteco (Carioca fast-food joint) is a small, stand-up bar with two or three small tables. Also referred to as a botequim, it is not the most hygienic of establishments. Cariocas will frequent at least one on a regular basis where they will get their mandatory cafezinho or have a quick chopp. Sometimes the Carioca will even go to a boteco for a quick snack where he will find a variety of very greasy delicacies to choose from. Among the most popular are:

coxinha de galinha [koh ‘shee nyah gee gah ‘lee nyah]: one or two tiny pieces of chicken rolled in a lot of dough with half of a chicken bone stuck inside — deep fried.

croquete de carne [kroh ‘keh tche gee ‘kah nee]: meat of dubious origin mixed with dough, usually rolled into a little ball or a finger-sized stick — deep fried.

pastel de queijo [pah ‘stehl gee ‘kayh joo]: small pasta pie with bits of cheese floating inside — deep fried.

ovo cozido [‘oh voh koh ‘zee doo]: multicolored hard-boiled chicken eggs, often eaten in two bites.

P.F. [peh ‘ehff] (prato feito): ready-made house dish of the day, inevitably consisting of rice, black beans, beef jerky, and farofa, pizza: very soggy crust with a thin piece of cheese on top. Served at room temperature.

Obs.: The true Carioca will eat something even if it doesn’t look very tasty. It becomes sort of a personal challenge.

In Rio you can eat just about anything — and I really mean anything. Sometimes you may not be sure of exactly what you are eating, so it’s always best to have at least two caipirinhas before digging in. This not only gives you courage and opens your appetite, it kills any unwelcome microorganisms which were not originally on the menu.

Caipirinhas

Caipirinhas are the local cocktail, and a true Carioca will always have at least two of them at a sitting. Smash some limes in the bottom of a glass with several heaping tablespoons of sugar. Drop in some ice and fill the glass with cachaça (Brazil’s answer to tequila and vodka), and you have the Carioca’s favorite drink. Other variations include substituting the cachaça for rum (caipirissima) or vodka (caipirovska), substituting the limes for grapes (caipiruva), or forgetting the fruit, sugar and ice and having it straight up, which is referred to as a rabo de galo (rooster tail). Served with a café com leite (coffee with milk) chaser, it is a favorite breakfast substitute for construction workers at the local botequins. Put cachaça and sugar together with any fruit in a blender, pass it through a sieve, and you have a batida (bah ‘tchee dah). It’s almost as much fun as a caipirinha, without all that garbage at the bottom of the glass to deal with. Have a few and you’ll be dancing the samba in no time.

Let’s do lunch!

Cariocas tend to go lightly on breakfast in order to save room for the lunch ritual. Downtown, during the week, lunch is eaten punctually at noon. Business people have their favorite lunch spots, which are usually very small, hot and crowded, with waiters who move like «The Flash», thus creating a rushed atmosphere. As a matter of fact, speaking of atmosphere, you’ll find plenty in a typical downtown lunch spot. You won’t find a salad or vegetable dish gracing these tables, though, as Cariocas seem to have a preference for pure starch. The only exception to this rule is when the sidewalk thermometers reach 40 °C (104°F), and the prato de verão (summer plate) — which consists of a wide assortment of fruit together with ham and hard-boiled eggs — comes back on the menu. These heavy noontime meals are then burned off by standing in any number of bank lines in an effort to pay bills before heading back to the office.

Of course, if you only have time for a stand-up-at-the-counter lunch, you will surely find a local boteco to meet your gastronomical needs. The true Carioca will savor the pernil (pork roast) with pineapple sandwich or coxinha de galinha selected from the glass counter, but not before asking the fellow behind the counter, «Tá bom isso aí?» («Is this good?») To which the fellow will most definitely reply, «Ooo, tá ótimo. É de hoje!» («Oh, yes, very good. Everything prepared today!»), even if they have been sitting in their juices for the better part of the week.

Lunch in areas other than downtown differ only in the respect that the suits, ties, shoes, socks, heels, stockings, and briefcases are back at home in the closet. In fact, in even the finer establishments in the Zona Sul section of Rio, one might see the clientele casually dressed in tangas (covered by kangas) and sungas.

On weekends Cariocas eat lunch anytime from noon until dusk, depending on the number of caipirinhas or chopps consumed. If you arrive at a restaurant for an early dinner, you will probably overlap with the lunch crowd.

Feijoada

Like all of us, you too may have always dreamed of eating a stew made of pig ears, tails, snout, tongue, and hoofs, combined with dried meats, sausages, slab bacon, salted pork, and black beans served on rice, accompanied by kale, fried manioc flour, oranges, and a caipirinha. Well, now is your chance. Named by the slaves «wav back when,» the feijoada [feyh joo ‘ah dah] is the Brazilian national dish and is traditionally eaten on Wednesdays and Saturdays for lunch. Be sure to put a spoonful of the accompanying malagueta [mah lah ‘geh tah] (veeeeery hot pepper) sauce on top of the beans for that added adventure. Although feijoadas are served at the finest hotels and restaurants, a true Carioca will only eat a feijoada at his favorite boteco. And don’t forget those caipirinhas!

If you should decide to indulge in a feijoada, be sure that you have the rest of the day free. Since the aftermath of eating a feijoada may be very dangerous, the following post-feijoada precautionary measures should be observed:

• Do not wear tight pants.

• Do not go out to play soccer.

• Do not operate heavy machinery.

• Do not have sex, wild or otherwise.

Acceptable options of things to do after eating a feijoada are:

• Lie in the hammock on the veranda or under a tree with your eyes closed, listening to the chirping of the birds.

• Extend yourself on a soft, comfortable sofa while listening to a Gilberto Gil CD with the air-conditioner at full blast.

Dinner

Cariocas won’t even consider eating dinner until after nine o’clock, and most restaurants will serve until the wee hours of the morning. The fare will resemble that of lunch, although many will opt for a pizza or pasta dish for a change. Both lunch and dinner are preceded by the optional convert (appetizers) consisting of the obligatory limp carrot and green pepper sticks, toasted day-old bread chips, and quail eggs. A favorite pastime while waiting for the main dish is identifying the contents of the various small stainless steel containers in which the convert is served. Surprisingly, they are often excellent and tasty.

Rio has many eating establishments that offer a variety of atmospheres where you are sure to develop a taste for many new culinary delights. At the seafood restaurants which are located near the shore, you can eat just about every form of sea life from shrimp, crab, and octopus, to squid and shark. Casquinha de siri [kah ‘skee nyah gee see ‘rree] (crab on a half shell) is a good appetizer. Try it. A true Carioca will ask the waiter first, though, as to the crab’s origins, then disregard his answer, order another caipirinha, and enjoy!

The churrascaria rodízio

A favorite among the meat-loving Cariocas, these round robin steak houses offer you the unique opportunity of eating all the meat you can stuff inside yourself for one set price. It’s traditional not to eat for the entire day, and then go to a rodízio and gorge. A word of caution: Waiters make their rounds with lightning speed, and before you can say «lingüiça» [leen ‘gwee suh] (sausage), the waiter will be offering you another cut of beef.

To avoid indigestion, it is recommended that you cover your plate with your hand until you are ready for that next sliver of meat. Although there does exist the danger of being stabbed in the hand when doing this, it is the only way to inform these speedy waiters that you need a chance to get caught up before the next round. A churrascaria rodízio [shoo ‘hah skah ‘rree yah ho ‘gee zee yoo] is not recommended for vegetarians, dieters, or long-winded conversationalists.

The cafezinho

Cariocas run on caffeine. To enjoy a cafezinho [kah feh ‘zee nyoo] (expresso) Carioca style, place a minimum of two heaping tablespoons of sugar in a tiny cup, pour thick black coffee over it, stir it into a paste, and down it in two sips. Consumed on an hourly basis at the local boteco, at the office, or after a meal, drinking a cafezinho is the Carioca ritual.

There are certain occasions throughout the Carioca’s day when pausing for a cafezinho is imperative. The following are just a few:

• when bumping into a friend on the street

• after lunch and after dinner

• when taking a few minutes off work

• when passing a place where good ones are served

• after drinking and before driving

• when checking out of a motel

Barzinhos

Another option when looking for atmosphere, these are those cool little stand-up bars you’ll find all around town. Similar to botecos and botequins, a barzinho will often have a few tables close to the bar or on the sidewalk. The larger barzinhos have substantial menus, but even though they may be lengthy, even a real Carioca will limit his order to batata frita (french fries), aipim frito (fried manioc root), and bolinhas de bacalhau (rolled codfish balls). Barzinhos are great spots to stop at when taking your date for a caipirinha or a quick Guaraná [gwah rrah ‘nah], the Brazilian soft drink. By the way, made from the powder of an Amazonian nut, Guaraná is rumored to be an aphrodisiac. Hmmm…

Waiters

While dining out Carioca style, don’t expect the waiters to be perfect specimens of etiquette. They may stack the plates like the Tower of Babel, but they do have good intentions.

No cute outfits with striped hats and bar aprons here. Always fully dressed in a long sleeve shirt, white jacket, and black bow tie, even when the temperature soars to 42 °C (107°F), it is no wonder the Carioca waiter occasionally gets out of sorts.

If you are fortunate enough to find a good waiter in a restaurant you like, be sure to ask his name. That way you’ll be guaranteed a few saideiras [sahee ‘day rrahs] (drinks served on the house while waiting for the bill).

Menus

Carioca menus tend to be lengthy, often four to six pages long, and due to fluctuating costs, the prices are either handwritten in pencil or typed on strips of paper, which are then pasted over the previous prices. The beauty of the Carioca restaurant is that, regardless of the menu, you can usually have any dish you want, prepared in whichever manner tickles your fancy, accompanied by whatever is available in the kitchen.

No matter how hard the Carioca waiter tries to please you, though, there are certain dishes you won’t find on any Carioca menu (unless, perhaps, you check into a five star hotel). For example:

• tuna on white

• macaroni and cheese

• lemon chiffon pie

• cottage cheese with peaches

• root beer

• two eggs, over easy, with hash browns

• bologna on rye

• Reuben sandwich

• blueberry cheese cake

• Thousand Island dressing

• decaffeinated coffee

• buckwheat pancakes with your choice of syrup

In compensation, though, you might discover some other exotic dishes on the bilingual menus, which you’ll find in the finer food establishments, conveniently available for their English speaking patrons.

What you will find in a carioca restaurant

Purple phosphorescent fl у zappers.

A sink in the back of the dining area with an accordion stack of coarse paper towels for drying hands.

Small wooden, hard-back chairs with one leg inevitably shorter than the others.

Creative, plastic-covered bilingual menus at least six pages long. Rest rooms with the initial «S» on both doors, accompanied by a subtle, indecipherable drawing.

Well-meaning waiters who seem to have inherited their white jackets from slimmer predecessors.

Well-used, two-sided tablecloths, sometimes accompanied by a plastic or paper covering.

Tables with matchboxes under one leg to balance them.

An occasional cockroach.

Forks with bent prongs.

What you won’t find in a carioca restaurant

Cloth place mats.

Waitresses wearing white dresses and aprons saying, «Have a nice day.»

Waiters who identify themselves by saying, «Hi, I’m Brian, and I will be your server today.»

Waiters informing you of the «Catch of the Day.»

Fresh baked pies and gelatin desserts displayed in glass cases. Bills inscribed with «Please pay at register.»

Menus from which you order by the number.

A nonsmoking section (without smokers smoking).