Mockingbird

CHAPTER 23 LOST

ON TUESDAY NIGHT I WALK INTO the kitchen and Dad is standing at the sink.

What’s for dinner? I ask.

He turns around fast and his eyes are big which means surprise I think. Except why would he be surprised when he knows I live here?

What? I say.

I’m sorry. He turns back to the sink. I was lost…

You’re in the kitchen, I tell him. It’s next to the living room. Then there’s the hall that goes to —

I know Caitlin. What I meant was I’m feeling a little lost. He grips the edge of the sink. You’ll be starting at the… middle school… next year.

No. I’ll be starting at the middle school in August. That’s this year.

He turns and Looks At The Person. Are you — He stops and puts his hand over his mouth. Then he takes it away again. Are you okay with going to… that school?

Virginia Dare?

He sucks in his breath when I say it.

Devon’s school?

He closes his eyes.

I shrug. I guess. They don’t have recess in middle school and I don’t like recess.

Dad opens his eyes but he still stares at the air. If I could afford to pay for a private school for you I would.

People talk about private schools but I don’t know exactly what they are. So I ask. Does private mean I’m the only one in the school? Because I’d like that a lot.

No. Of course not.

So it’s just like a regular school?

Pretty much.

I shake my head. Then I don’t want private. I’m fine with the regular one.

He nods and lets out a big breath. Okay.