Mockingbird

CHAPTER 33 GROUP PROJECT INCLUDING OTHER PEOPLE

MRS. JOHNSON ANNOUNCES ANOTHER group project. I raise my hand. She closes her eyes for a moment and sighs. Yes Caitlin. I know you don’t want to be in a group but —

I do want to be in a group. This is going to be my first group project in a group. I add, In school, because I remember that the chest is kind of a group project with Dad-oh.

Oh. Okay. That’s great. She claps twice. Class! We’re going to the computer lab so you can do your research. We have to share the computers with the other fifth-grade class so some of you will need to sit at the tables.

Some people groan. I don’t. I just think one thing. Josh.

We’re lucky to have a computer lab at all in such a small school, Mrs. Johnson reminds us like she does every time we go to the computer lab. I’m going to bring some supplies with us and when we get there we’ll break into groups and I’ll tell you what the project is.

We all get up and I see Mrs. Johnson pick up two bins of markers which is a very good sign. It means there is drawing involved.

At the computer lab Mrs. Johnson says, Our project is on the state of Virginia. It’s a project that involves research and a lot of drawing because you’ll need the flag, the state flower, the state bird, et cetera.

I’m so happy! I love drawing!

Emma invites me to join her group with Brianna and Shane. Okay, I say, and I tell them how lucky they are. I’m probably the best artist in the state of Virginia.

Shane and Brianna look at each other and laugh. I wonder if they’re happy.

Emma chews her lip. You don’t have to be the best. You can do all the drawing though if you want.

Yay! I smile at my group until my cheeks start hurting and I have to stop.

Mrs. Johnson puts markers and paper and some books about Virginia on the tables. Shane wants to sit at the computer so I sit next to Emma and Brianna at one of the tables in the back of the room with a bunch of kids from the other fifth grade. Josh is at the table in front of ours. I don’t look at him. I start drawing right away.

Hey! You! Josh says.

I want to shake my hands but instead I draw even faster.

Emma whips her head up from the book she’s reading. Shut up Josh!

His face goes pink and his eyes blink a lot. I was just going to see if I could borrow a red marker. Thanks a lot! He turns around and sniffs.

I stop drawing and look down at my pile of markers next to me. There are three red ones. I take one and lean across the table and poke Josh in the back with it.

He whirls around. What the — !

Here, I say.

His lips squish around a lot so I can’t tell if he’s smiling or frowning but he takes the marker from me. He does not say thank you but I decide I’ll accept his thank you from earlier.

Shane looks up the state everything on the computer. The state dog is the American foxhound and the state fish is a brook trout, he calls out.

I draw them and also a dogwood — the state tree AND flower — with a cardinal in it — the state bird. Everyone thinks cardinals are red but actually that’s just the male. I don’t do colors so my cardinal is a female. When I’m done I show my group.

Brianna shakes her head. You traced that.

No I didn’t.

No one can draw like that.

I can. I told you. I’m probably the best artist in the state.

Yeah right.

I’ve seen what Caitlin can draw, Emma says. It’s awesome. And anyway it doesn’t matter. It can be traced or drawn for this project.

I drew it, I tell her.

Whatever, Brianna says.

Can you make the cardinal red? Emma asks.

I don’t do colors, I tell her.

Why not?

It’s easier when things are black and white.

But you’ve done the hard part already, Emma says. Coloring something in is easy. It’s drawing the tree and bird that’s hard.

Not for me, I say. Colors are mushy and I don’t know where they end or what happens to them when they run into each other because they change.

Emma tilts her head. I don’t Get It. Black and white is boring. Colors are beautiful.

I take a deep breath and try to explain. When you mix red and yellow it might come out orange like the sun when it’s setting but when you mix red and yellow another time it might come out like a school bus and when you do it again it might come out like a hornet. It’s always different. You don’t know what to expect.

Emma’s head is still tilted. And she’s not saying anything. Which means she REALLY doesn’t Get It because it’s unusual for Emma not to talk.

Never mind, I tell her. It’s too hard to explain. I’m not even sure I Get It myself.

I get to see Michael on the playground and talk to him for the first time in what feels like a really long time. I tell him all about the chest Dad-oh and I are working on.

He listens politely but his Bambi eyes are kind of fuzzy.

What’s wrong? I ask him.

I don’t Get It.

So I describe the chest and exactly what we’re doing to it and how it’ll look when we’re finished.

I still don’t Get It, he says.

I start describing the chest again.

No. I mean I don’t Get how that makes Closure.

We’re bringing the project to Closure. We’re finishing the chest. That’s Closure.

Oh. But his eyes are still fuzzy. Will I feel better when it’s done?

I think about it for a minute. I’m pretty sure I’ll feel better. Much better than seeing it covered by a gray sheet in the corner. And I think Dad will feel better too. I know Devon would want it finished. I look at Michael with his fuzzy Bambi eyes and I’m not so sure how finishing the chest will help him. And it’s giving me a recess feeling in my stomach.

He shrugs. That’s okay.

But it doesn’t sound okay. And my stomach doesn’t feel okay.

You’re still my friend, he says softly.

I am? Why?

You’re nice to me and you don’t have to be ’cause you’re a fifth grader and you can do stuff like Closure and I’m only a first grader so I can only do stuff like be a pear.

A pair of what?

No. A pear. Like an apple.

Oh. Can I see you be a pear?

He Looks At The Person. You really want to see me be a pear?

Yes.

He starts to smile. You want to come to my play?

What play?

My class is doing a play about the food pyramid. I’m the pear. It’s my favorite fruit. Do you want to come watch?

When is it?

Tonight. At school. Can you come?

I don’t like going back to school once I’m already home. It’s like having school twice in one day. But Michael is finally looking happy so I decide the answer should be, Okay.

My teacher said you have to be here with your costume by six thirty sharp. Oh. Except you don’t have to get here until seven because you’re one of the watchers.

Audience, I say.

Michael gives me a high five and he’s smiling so much that I feel like a good friend again. I’m happy because of Michael. He’s the only friend I have and maybe the only friend I’ll ever have.