Mockingbird

CHAPTER 31 IT’S A GIRL THING

AFTER RECESS I HATE PE THE most. Recess I hate because everyone screams and runs around crazy and grabs you and pushes you and you have absolutely no idea what will happen next. At least in PE there is a teacher so you know what will happen next even though it might involve screaming, grabbing and running around crazy.

Class! Mr. Mason shouts. He always shouts. It’s just what PE teachers do. Boys! JoshNelson-BruceShaneJoey! Stop that right now or you’ll be getting a special one-way ticket to see Miss Harper!

I don’t see why they get to have a special one-way ticket to the principal’s office. I’m behaving myself perfectly and I am getting no free tickets.

I’m breaking you boys up! Josh — Josh! You and Nelson are on that side of the gym and the rest of you hooligans are on this side! Shane and Bruce! You’re in charge of William H. His assistant isn’t here today. Make sure he doesn’t run off if I turn my back!

Can we have free play today? a boy asks.

When pigs fly, Mr. Mason says. I’m not sure what he means by that.

Dodgeball today! he yells, and I start sucking on my sleeve. Dodgeball is bad enough but I hope he doesn’t try to make us wear pinnies. I hate the feel of them. And they remind me of clamshells and I hate the gooey icky inside of a clam.

He goes to the closet and pulls out the big cardboard box with the pinnies and I start sucking both sleeves. He grabs William H. who is trying to run out the door. Shane and Bruce! What did I just tell you? You’re watching William H.! Everyone else — put on these pinnies! And hurry! William H. loves dodgeball so the sooner we get this game started the better! Mr. Mason starts throwing yellow and red pinnies at people around the gym.

A yellow one lands at my feet and I stare at it.

Come on Caitlin! Pick it up!

I stare at it.

What’s the problem!

I don’t like clams.

Me neither! Put on the pinnie!

Mr. Mason! Shane yells. I can’t hold William H.!

Mr. Mason swears and goes to grab William H. Hurry up and get ready! He looks over at me. Caitlin! The pinnie!

But I don’t like clams.

What’s that got to do with the price of fish!

What? Why is he talking about fish?

Oh for the love of — Why do they give me all the autistic kids?

Some people laugh. I’m not sure who all the autistic kids are. I thought William H. was the only one.

Some girls are whispering next to me. I brace myself because when a bunch of girls is whispering that usually means someone will squeal or scream so I need to be prepared. Emma is one of the girls and she’s pretty loud most of the time.

This time is no different. She tells Mr. Mason, Some of us need to go see Mrs. Brook.

Why? Mr. Mason asks.

I wonder too. I never knew she went to see Mrs. Brook.

The other girls are also looking at her. Finally she answers. It’s a girl thing.

Mr. Mason’s face goes red and he nods.

I will have to remember that remark.

Emma looks at me then at Mr. Mason then back to me. I think you should come with us.

I follow Emma and two other girls down the hall to Mrs. Brook’s room. Emma is complaining loudly about Mr. Mason, saying, That was SO inappropriate, even though there’s No Talking In The Hall. I try to remind her but Emma’s voice takes up all the room. When she grows up she should be one of those TV interviewers on Fox Five News who doesn’t let anyone else talk even if they try.

When we get to Mrs. Brook’s room she’s on the phone but it doesn’t stop Emma from blurting out something so fast I can’t even follow it.

Mrs. Brook tells the phone person she’ll have to call back and she hangs up.

What happened? Mrs. Brook asks.

No one says anything.

What exactly did Mr. Mason say?

Still no one says anything.

Then they all look at me.

This means they want me to tell Mrs. Brook what happened.

So I do. Mr. Mason wants to know why they give him all the autistic kids.

Mrs. Brook’s neck does its turtle jerk. She looks at the girls. I see.

I look at Emma and the other two girls also. I don’t think they’re autistic. I don’t know who he’s talking about.

Emma looks at me with a sad face. He was talking about you.

But I’M NOT —

I know, she says quickly. He shouldn’t have said that.

He knows that too, Mrs. Brook says. We’re all still… very stressed.

One of the other girls says, William H. doesn’t have his assistant so Mr. Mason is going a little nuts.

Oh dear! Mrs. Brook stands up. Someone should have told me!

Her shoes squeak down the hall to the gym very fast and we follow. She speaks with Mr. Mason and takes William H. from Bruce and Shane.

Mr. Mason comes over to me.

I think he’s going to make me wear the pinnie so I start to talk but he interrupts me.

I’m really sorry Caitlin. I shouldn’t have said that remark about autistic kids.

I’m surprised to hear him speak without shouting. That’s okay. I think William H. is the only autistic kid they give you though.

You’re right Caitlin. He sighs. I learned a good lesson today.

Do I have to wear the pinnie?

He smiles. You know what? Today I think I have to wear the pinnie. He goes to the box and puts on a yellow pinnie but it only fits around his neck instead of his whole body and it looks like a scarf. People laugh at him but he laughs too. He also winks at me. And even though he looks funny I think he has learned a little finesse today.