Mockingbird

CHAPTER 25 HINGES

WHEN DAD PICKS ME UP EARLY at school he starts asking me about my TRM but I tell him, We need to go to Lowe’s!

What?

Right now!

What’s all this about, Caitlin?

Closure! Drive fast!

His voice keeps going but I’m too busy bouncing in the backseat to hear the words.

I run into Lowe’s and race up and down the aisles and Dad is chasing me saying, Caitlin Caitlin! Excuse me ma’am! Sorry! Caitlin! Excuse me! until I find the place with the hinges and I’m panting with excitement and I shake my hands for Dad to hurry up and he’s panting too and says, CAIT-LIN! but I say, Which ones? as I rattle the different-sized boxes of hinges.

He is still panting but doesn’t say anything right away until he says, What are you talking about?

THE HINGES! Which ones do we need?

He tilts his head. For what?

THE CHEST! Why doesn’t he Get It?

Chest?

DEVON’S CHEST! HIS EAGLE SCOUT PROJECT!

Dad’s shoulders slump and his head falls. He puts a hand on his forehead and closes his eyes.

Can I help you? a man in a red apron says.

I look at Dad. He is not helping so I say, Yes, even though I don’t like talking to strangers. We need hinges for the chest.

What kind of hinges?

I Look At The Person. You are no help either.

He looks at Dad.

We don’t need any hinges today, Dad says quietly.

Why not? I ask.

I’m not ready to work on the chest.

I am.

We need to talk about this first.

Okay. Talk.

At home.

Then we’ll have to come right back to Lowe’s again.

Later, he says.

What time?

I don’t know.

Can’t we just talk about this in the car and then come back in again?

He turns and starts walking down the aisle passing people who look at him and then at me. When he gets to the end of the aisle and turns right and disappears I am left with all the strangers staring at me. I start crying and run down the aisle screaming for Dad and even though I find him I cry all the way to the car and all the way home and for a long time in my hidey-hole in Devon’s room wrapped up in my purple fleece because Dad says he is not interested in working on the chest and not to ask him again for a very long time.