Mockingbird

CHAPTER 36 MORE DRAWING

OUR GROUP PROJECT IS DONE and we have to present it to the class. Emma does all the talking and I hold up my drawings so I can hide my face behind them. Mrs. Johnson and a lot of people say, Wow! That’s an awesome bird! Look at that dog! She can really draw! and nice things like that but this way I don’t have to Look At The Person. Also I don’t even have to say Thank You because Emma is trying to talk and it would be rude for me to talk at the same time.

The class claps. Mrs. Johnson gives us an A. She puts all of my drawings on the bulletin board and I feel happy until she puts other people’s drawings up and theirs are all in color. Now mine don’t look as good somehow. I stare at mine and wonder how they would look with color even though I like things better without color. I think.

Emma says that our group should sit at lunch together so we do. Shane shrugs. Brianna rolls her eyes. I eat my cheese crackers and chocolate milk and fruit leather strip.

Could you chew with your mouth closed please? Brianna asks. Her eyes are big and so is her voice. I’m confused. I’m not sure who she’s talking to.

Do you mean me? I ask her.

Yes! And don’t talk with your mouth full! she says.

Shane snorts.

I’m serious! Brianna says.

Caitlin, Emma says after she swallows a bite of her hot dog, can you do some drawings for the yearbook?

I don’t know, I say. What kind of drawings?

Her forehead wrinkles. I think drawings in the margins would be good. They could be of things around school.

I think of what’s around school. The grass?

No. Not just grass.

The street?

No. I mean things you see in the classroom or out on the playground. Books. Computers. Desks. Monkey bars. School stuff.

I nod slowly. I could do that.

High five, Emma says. She puts her hand in the air.

I look at it and think about how Michael and Josh high-five.

I put my hand up and Emma slaps it.

It feels weird but in a good way.

You should join the art club in middle school, she says.

There’s an art club?

Sure! Mr. Walters runs it. He’s the art teacher.

I know Mr. Walters.

He’s cool, Emma says.

I nod. I need to draw his eyes.

She shrugs and grins. Okay.

At home our chest is almost done.

I draw what I want to carve into the top part of it. The bird is gray and black and white and has a long tail. Her head is tilted up and her beak is open like she’s singing. She is beautiful. I’m happy because I get my drawing just right. I run to the living room to show it to Dad.

He takes it with one hand and rubs his chin with the other. He sits down on the sofa with an oof. He stares at it. It’s not… It doesn’t look as… detailed as that eagle you drew that won first prize.

It’s not an eagle, I tell him. It’s a mockingbird.

He tilts his head to the side and stares at me. I thought it was an eagle because this is Devon’s Eagle Scout project.

It’s a mockingbird, I explain, like in the movie. Remember? Because Devon was like Jem. And I’m like Scout. And you Dad — you’re like Atticus.

Dad’s eyes fill with water and he blinks a lot and I think maybe he needs to get those funny glasses Atticus wears.