Can't Wait to Get to Heaven

Bad News Travels Fast

9:59 AM

Back in Elmwood Springs, Elner’s neighbors Ruby Robinson and Tot Whooten had received the news about Elner, even before Norma and Macky. Earlier that morning, after the ambulance left with Elner, Ruby and Tot had gone inside and Ruby had called her nurse friend, Boots Carroll, who worked at Caraway Hospital, and told her that her neighbor Mrs. Shimfissle was on the way and to be on the lookout for her. As a professional courtesy, Boots had called her back and informed her that the word had just come out of ER that her Mrs. Shimfissle had officially coded at 9:47, and Boots read her the report over the phone. When Ruby put the phone down, she turned to Tot, who was sitting at the kitchen table, and shook her head. “She didn’t make it.”

“Oh, no…. What happened?”

“Anaphylactic shock. That many wasp stings all at once, her heart just stopped.”

“I don’t believe it. Are they sure?”

“Oh yes, Boots said she was practically a DOA, never had a chance from the get-go. I knew her pulse was weak, but I thought she would pull through, poor old Elner, but at least she didn’t suffer, that’s something, I guess.”

“So she’s really dead?” said Tot, not believing it.

“Yes.” Ruby walked over and sat down. “Sad to say, but she’s really dead.”

“I’m just glad if it had to happen, she didn’t die down there in Florida, around a bunch of strangers.”

“Yes, thank God, she was in her own yard when it happened.”

They both just sat for a moment staring into space trying to come to terms with the fact that they had just lost their friend and neighbor for good.

After a while Tot breathed deeply and said, “Well…it’s the end of an era, isn’t it?”

Ruby nodded and said solemnly, “Yes, it is. I’ve been knowing Elner Shimfissle all my life….”

“Me too,” said Tot. “I won’t know what to think anymore, not to see her out on her porch every day, waving at everybody. She was one of the oldies but goodies, wasn’t she, Ruby?”

“She was that,” said Ruby.

They sat there and thought of all the ways their lives were going to be affected now that Elner was gone for good. Not only had they seen her every day, but for years, every evening the same group had all brought their lawn chairs over to Elner’s yard and sat and talked and watched the sun go down.

Tot said, “What’s going to happen to the Sunset Club now?”

“I don’t know,” Ruby said.

“And who’s going to do the Easter egg hunt this year?”

“I haven’t a clue. I guess somebody will.”

“Easter just won’t be the same without Elner.”

“No it won’t, I tell you one thing, Luther Griggs is going to be very upset when he hears about Elner…and poor Norma, you know she is going to take it hard.”

“Oh…don’t you know it?” said Tot. “She’ll probably just fly all to pieces and have a running fit.”

“She’ll be beside herself, you know that. I think she was closer to Elner than she was to her own mother.”

“I know she was, and who could blame her?” Tot added quickly, “I liked Ida, but she could be a real pain in the butt sometimes.”

Ruby agreed. “I liked her too, but she was uppity, no two ways about it. Thank goodness Norma has Linda to help her get through it.”

“And the new grandchild, that should be some comfort, not that mine would,” said Tot.

They sat and stared at the table, this time thinking about poor Norma. After a moment Tot asked, “Well…what should we do now?”

Ruby said, “I guess we should probably go over to Elner’s and make sure everything is all right, lock everything up, you know they won’t be back until late.”

“Yeah, I guess we should.” Tot glanced up at the red plastic teapot-shaped kitchen clock, then went to the phone and called her daughter at the beauty shop. “Darlene, cancel all my appointments. I’m not coming in today. Poor Elner Shimfissle was just stung to death by wasps, I’m so upset, I couldn’t do anybody’s hair today if I tried.”