Can't Wait to Get to Heaven

Verbena Tells Cathy

Verbena must have called the newspaper office a hundred times, but the line continued to be busy. By this time she was so frustrated not being able to reach Cathy and tell her the news, she was red in the face. She could not stand it a moment longer, so she put the BE BACK IN FIVE MINUTES sign on the door of the cleaners and walked across the street. When she opened the door to the Elmwood Springs Courier office, she heard Cathy still talking to someone on the phone. She went into the back office and Cathy looked up, put her hand over the receiver, and said, “I’ll be off in just a minute,” and gestured for Verbena to have a seat. She was just finishing up her weekly interview with the school board president, gathering the latest updates concerning the ongoing fight about whether or not to include the theory of Intelligent Design along with Darwin’s theory of evolution. When she saw Verbena, Cathy figured she was here to talk about that and knew she was in for an hour of Verbena arguing to include creationism. But Verbena surprised her when she reached across her desk and wrote on a piece of paper in big black letters “Elner’s dead!” and put it in front of Cathy and banged on it with her finger. Cathy glanced down and said, “What? Are you serious?” Verbena nodded. “Pete,” Cathy said, “Elner Shimfissle just died, let me call you back,” and hung up. “What happened?”

“We don’t know, but Ruby got the call from the hospital a few minutes ago, I tried to call you as soon as I heard but the line was busy. You need to get call waiting.”

“I know I do. Well this is just terrible news.”

“Isn’t it? I’m just heartbroken over it, and Merle is beside himself, life just won’t be the same without Elner, will it?”

“No.”

“I have to get back, but I thought you would want to know as soon as possible.”

“Yes, thank you for telling me, Verbena.”

After Verbena left, Cathy reached over and took the phone off the hook. She didn’t feel like talking. Elner Shimfissle was dead. It was hard to believe, she had been so sure that Elner of all people would survive a few stings and a little fall off a ladder. She shook her head and thought how strange it was that she of all people, who wrote about life and death every day, was still mystified by the whole thing. “Here today, gone tomorrow, here’s your hat, what’s your hurry, don’t let the door hit you in the back when you leave.” A person lives for years, touches so many people, and then at the end winds up just a small picture and a few paragraphs in the paper, the paper gets thrown away, and it’s all over.

Cathy had written hundreds of obits before and had just finished doing Ernest Koonitz’s yesterday, but Elner’s was going to be a hard one to write. Although hers was only a small town newspaper, when it came to writing obituaries, Cathy always took her time and tried to write something interesting, offer a little variety and do more than just facts. After all, other than a birth announcement or a wedding, this was one of the few times most law-abiding citizens got to see their names in the newspaper. Also it was important for the family to read something a little special, something they could keep and be proud of, and she wanted to do a particularly good job on Elner’s obit. She opened the drawer, pulled out a piece of paper, and glanced over her list of suggested phrases.

DiedDied suddenlyDied peacefullyPassed awayLeft this world for anotherMet his/her Lord onWas taken to heavenWas delivered safe in the arms of his/her Lord and Savior,Departed this lifeMade his/her transition from this earthIs happy at the side of his/her Maker

After finishing, she put it in the drawer. Somehow, writing this one, she didn’t feel like trying to show off her literary skills. This one she would write from her heart.

Mrs. Elner Jane Shimfissle, longtime resident of Elmwood Springs, died yesterday at the Caraway Hospital in Kansas City. A fun-loving person who knew no strangers, she enjoyed gospel music, visiting with neighbors, feeding the birds, and was a friend to all living things. She delighted in making fig preserves and decorating and hiding Easter eggs in her backyard for neighborhood children. She was preceded in death by her husband, Will Shimfissle, sisters, Mrs. Ida Jenkins and Mrs. Gerta Nordstrom. She is survived by her niece, Mrs. Norma Warren of Elmwood Springs, great-niece, Mrs. Dena Nordstrom O’Malley of Palo Alto, California, great-niece, Linda Warren, and five-year-old grandniece, Apple Warren, now residing in St. Louis, and her beloved cat, Sonny. She will be greatly missed by all who knew her. The family requests that all donations be made to the Humane Society.

After she completed the first draft, she put the obit in the basket on her desk. She would add all the funeral details later. She then got up and went into her photo file and found the two pictures of Elner. One she had taken sixteen years ago, of Elner holding an orange cat, the one with the six toes. She had been so proud that day. The cat had just turned twenty-five and she had given it a birthday party. Cathy sat there for a moment, looking at Elner’s smiling face, then took out her checkbook and wrote a check to the Humane Society in memory of Elner, it was the least she could do. After she finished writing the check, she sat back and wondered where her life might have taken her if it had not been for Elner. She certainly would not have been able to go to college. She had a college scholarship but her family had not had the money to pay for room and board, once she got there. She had been heartbroken at the time and had told Mrs. Shimfissle. The next day, when she walked by the house, Mrs. Shimfissle called out to her, “Hey, Cathy, come here a minute.” When Cathy walked up, she had handed her a blue envelope with her name on it. When she opened it, to her surprise she saw that it contained ten one-hundred-dollar bills.

“I can’t take this, Mrs. Shimfissle.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s just a little egg money, besides it will make me happy to think I’m helping somebody get a good education. We need more smart people in the world.”

Cathy had paid the money back, of course, but she had always hoped to be able to return the favor in some other way, do something really nice for Elner, but now it was too late—she was gone.