Can't Wait to Get to Heaven

A New Kitty

3:10 PM

Linda Warren had been able to get back to her office and at least work half a day. When she walked into her house, her daughter, Apple, was waiting and ran to greet her all excited and asked, “Where’s my kitty?” The au pair looked at Linda and said, “All she’s talked about since you’ve been gone is that cat.” Linda felt terrible. In the rush of the past forty-eight hours she had completely forgotten she had promised to bring Apple a cat. In the past Linda had always felt that she was far too busy with work and raising a child to have to take care of a cat, but she was stuck now, she had promised. She told a disappointed Apple that tomorrow they would go to the Humane Society and find a cat. After all, Aunt Elner always said that everybody should have a cat. Later, as she started dinner, Linda suddenly had a brainstorm. She was in charge of the AT&T corporate community outreach program and had been wondering what their next project should be. Not only would she and Apple get a cat, tomorrow she would declare April Adopt a Cat Month. With over eight hundred fifty employees, a lot of people would be getting a cat. Aunt Elner would be pleased to think that her falling out of a tree would be the reason an awful lot of cats were about to find good homes!

Macky had arrived back at the hospital from the airport at around three-thirty that afternoon, and he and Norma had stayed with Elner until around six. As they drove home, Macky was happy, and said, “I think she’s doing just fine. Don’t you? She told me she never felt better in her life.”

Norma was unusually quiet, and did not reply.

He looked over. “Don’t you think she’s doing great? No broken bones, no brain damage.”

Norma sighed. “I’m not so sure.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…”

“What do you mean ‘well’?”

“I didn’t want to say anything, Macky, but the truth is I’m just worried to death.”

“Why?”

“Macky, if I tell you something, will you swear to God not to repeat it?”

“Of course. What?”

“Aunt Elner thinks she took a trip to heaven.”

“What?”

“Yes…. She told me that yesterday, while we were downstairs in the waiting room, she got up and went down the hall looking for somebody, then got on an elevator that zigzagged her over to another building.”

“Another building?”

“Wait, Macky, it gets worse. She said she went down this long white hall and Ginger Rogers walked by, wearing a feather boa and carrying a pair of tap shoes.”

“Ginger Rogers? You’re kidding.”

“Yes, then she said she saw Mother sitting behind a big desk at the end of the hall.”

Macky was suddenly finding this extremely interesting. “And then what?”

“Mother took her up some glass stairs to heaven, but it was really Elmwood Springs fifty years ago; and then she went over and had a visit with Neighbor Dorothy, and some man named Raymond.”

Macky laughed.

Norma looked at him. “Don’t laugh, Macky, she said mother knew all about Tot doing her hair and makeup. How would she know that?”

“Oh, Norma, for God’s sakes…it was just a dream. And if your mother was in it, it was a nightmare.”

“I told her it was just a dream, but she said no it wasn’t, it really happened. She swears she talked to Ernest Koonitz and met Thomas Edison and that this Raymond person told her that the egg comes before the chicken, and something about a flea, and gave her all kinds of messages to bring back.”

“Messages? Like what?”

“Oh, stupid cliché stuff. You know. Be happy. Smile…silly stuff. I couldn’t make any sense out of it, everything was all jumbled around, but she’s convinced it really happened, she said she even ate a piece of cake while she was there.”

“Don’t worry about it, Norma, it was just a dream.”

“Are you sure?”

He looked at her. “Of course I’m sure, Norma. The woman was knocked out cold. Who knows what medication she was on, people do that all the time. Remember when Linda had her tonsils out and dreamed there was a pony in her room?”

“Do you think that’s all it was?”

He nodded. “Of course. She’ll probably forget all about it in a day or so, you wait and see.”

“I hope you’re right, but I’m still afraid she’ll tell everyone she meets that she’s been to heaven. You know how she likes to talk…. Let’s just pray she doesn’t tell anybody she saw Ginger Rogers or we’ll never get her out of that hospital.”

After they drove awhile, Macky asked, “What kind of cake?”

“She didn’t say.”

Then he laughed again. “Raymond? Where does she come up with this stuff?”

“I don’t know, but, Macky, you don’t think there’s any way Mother knows that Tot did her hair, do you? I couldn’t hurt Tot’s feelings, I don’t know what else I could have done under the circumstances….”

Macky looked over at his wife, who was busy twisting a Kleenex to death. “Norma, you need a good night’s sleep.”