Anam Cara

The Family as Nest of Belonging

The family is the most powerful structure of human belonging in the world. Within the limited compass of the home, a wide range of energies is simultaneously awakening. Limited space inevitably forces form. Their belonging together offers an outer unity to the world. In the family, the emergence of individuality is complex and always accompanied by either a latent or explicit struggle between the different family members. Later in life, when one begins to explore one’s identity, it is surprising to learn how the roots of one’s personality inevitably lead back to the unsuspecting home. The sources of your potential and the secrets of your blindness lie concealed there. The family is the first place where you stretch and test your essence. A family is not a monument to an extended egotism; it must be pervious, open in communication with the larger world. However, it is never a clear space where you can move as you wish. Family is a warm but cluttered space. Each family member must earn his own room in competition with the others. Yet amidst the cut and thrust of life, especially when times are difficult, it is great to know that you have your family.

A home is a place where a set of different destinies begin to articulate and define themselves. It is the cradle of one’s future. Home is the place where the stranger arrives, the place where you see things for the first time. Here you first begin to know that you have a body. You come to know smell, touch, and hearing. Home is the place where your infant senses are fostered. You have been on a long journey; now you settle and learn to recognize things. Here you learn how to cry and begin to notice how the cry and the smile get you attention. Home is where you first notice others, where you first sense that you are separate and different. It is the place where you first recognize your own gender. The fascinating thing about home is how it functions, without the superintendence of consciousness, yet different gifts are being quietly received by each member of the family. Gifts that will take a full lifetime to unwrap and recognize.