Anam Cara

We Take upon Ourselves the Images Made for Us

It is astounding how we take on the violence that is directed towards us. When someone attacks you, it is practically certain that internally you will attack yourself. It would be great to have enough confidence in your self, and enough freedom and inner poise, that when hostility comes towards you, you could let it pass right over your shoulder. Someone assaults you verbally, points out your weaknesses and failures, testifies to the fact that the very sight of you is enough to make him want to reincarnate on the spot, and expresses the sincerest compassion with those who have to endure your blighted presence on a more frequent basis. Wouldn’t it be lovely on such an occasion to be able to look that person in the eye and say from your heart, “I am sorry that it disturbs you so much, but you know, right now I am just feeling so good. I am sorry that you are feeling that miserable. Can I get you a cup of coffee or anything?” What usually happens is you are hurt and begin to use the ammunition that has been just delivered against yourself. Such confrontation can burrow into you for weeks afterwards.

No one outside can open the door to release you from inner prison. The key is actually on the inside. It takes a long time to find the door and turn the key to come out onto the pastures where the wildflowers grow and the air is fresh and full. We are children of Nature. Thoughts should stir like the wind through the rich spring branches, and lift you, opening you towards new horizons, and not confine you to the stale, dead air of shabby inner rooms. The New Testament tells how people often begged Jesus to cure them. Sometimes these were people who had lived inside the prison of illness for years. In his gentle yet incisive way, he often turned the question inwards and asked, “Do you want to be healed?” This is a great question to ask yourself when you notice that the changes you long for are not happening. Maybe you do not want to be free. Something in the inner confinement confirms something in you which you are not yet ready to let go. The mind does not need to endure any internal police or prison guards holding you confined. You can be as free as your longing desires.