Don't Worry, Be Grumpy

Tummy Wisdom

When I was a boy, being of ample girth was considered a sign of health and carefree happiness. The spiritual exemplar who inspired me in those days with his kindness and social conscience was Friar Tuck from the TV series Robin Hood. He was fat as well as wise and jolly. That was the sort of monk I aspired to emulate.

Nowadays we’re all supposed to be thin and serious. I started to succumb to concern about the size of my ample tummy when, one evening in my temple in Perth, a Chinese woman came up to me and began rubbing my tummy for good luck! So I did some urgent research.

I found that experiments have shown that when you are happy, especially when you laugh, the blood vessels in your body expand significantly. But when you are miserable and worried, they become much thinner.

This explained so much.

Perhaps you’ve noticed, as I have, that most older people who are fat are jolly and kind, like Santa Claus. I reasoned that this must be because they laugh so easily and often that their blood vessels have expanded as wide as super-highways, and all the bad cholesterol and other ”guck” easily finds a way through. Since miserable fat people have narrow blood vessels, which are easily clogged, they must die sooner, leaving only the happy ones behind.

So for those of you who are overweight, like this author, make sure you laugh a lot. The effect on your arteries may save your life!

For example, the famous American comedian George Burns, during an interview on his ninety-something birthday, was asked about his lifestyle: “George, you’re in your late nineties, and still you stay out into the early hours of the morning in nightclubs, drink copious amounts of scotch whiskey, smoke cigars by the box, and eat fatty foods. Aren’t you concerned about your health?”

“Not at all,” replied George. “My wife was always worried about my health and lifestyle, and that’s why she died many years ago!”