Complete Works of Anton Chekhov

SCENE X .

The SAME and TRILETZKY {in a top-hat).

TRILETZKY (comes in). What a noise the cranes are making! Where do they come from? {Looks above.) So early . . .

GREKOVA. Nikolai Ivanitch, if you respect me or yourself even a little, you will refuse to know this man! {Points to Platonov.)

TRILETZKY {laughing). Have mercy! This is my most esteemed relative. GREKOVA. And friend?

TRILETZKY. And friend.

GREKOVA. I don’t envy you. I don’t envy him either. You’re a decent man, but . . . this jesting tone . . . There are times when one is fed up with your jokes. ... I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I feel humiliated, and you go on jesting! {She weeps.) I’m humiliated . . . but I’m proud. Know this man, then . . . love him . . . bow down before his mind . . . fear him... You all appear to see in him a likeness to Hamlet... Well, go on taking pleasure in him! That’s none of my affair. ... I don’t expect anything from you...

Go on jesting with him to your heart’s content . . . with this worthless wretch! (Goes into the housed)

TRILETZKY (after a pause). Did you eat her up?

PLATONOV. I ate nothing...

TRILETZKY. It’s time, Mikhail Vassilyitch, in all honour, in all conscience, you left her in peace. Upon my word, it’s shameful. You’re such a big, such a clever man, yet are up to such pranks... There, she called you a worthless wretch... {Pause.) How am I to divide myself in halves, one half of which is to respect you and the other to sympathize with the girl who called you a worthless wretch?

PLATONOV. Don’t respect me, so it won’t be necessary for you to divide yourself in halves...

TRILETZKY. But I can’t help respecting you! You don’t know what you are saying.

PLATONOV. There remains the alternative: don’t sympathize with her. I don’t understand you, Nikolai! You’re a clever man . . . what good have you found in the little fool?

TRILETZKY. H’m . . . The general’s widow has often reproached me for my deficiency as a gentleman, and has always pointed you out to me as a model of what a gentleman should be... And, in my opinion, this reproach might be particularly aimed at you... Let me ask you: is it the act of a gentleman to cry at the street corners that I’m in love with her? And you laugh at me, mock me, spy on me. . . .

PLATONOV. Express yourself more clearly.

TRILETZKY. I think I’ve expressed myself clearly enough. And, to my face, you’ve called her fool, riffraff . . . and you call yourself a gentleman! Gentlemen know that people in love have a certain amour p-opre... She’s no fool, brother! She’s no fool! She’s a needless sacrifice, that’s what she is! There are moments when one has the desire to hate someone, to annoy someone, to hurt and offend someone... Why not try it on her? She is handy! And she is frail, silent, and looks at you so trustingly. ... I understand all this very well... {He rises.) Come, let’s have a drink!

OSSIP {to Vengerovitch). If you don’t give me the rest of the money then, I’ll steal a hundred. Never fear, I’ll do it!

VENGEROVITCH i {to Ossip). Not so loud, please! When you are laying it on, don’t forget to say to him, “You grateful tavern-keeper!” Sh-h . . . No, off with you! {He goes into the house.)

OSSIP {goes away).

TRILETZKY. The devil take it! Abram Abramitch! {To Vengerovitch.) Abram Abramitch, you’re not ill?

VENGEROVITCH I. It’s nothing... Thank God, I’m well.

TRILETZKY. What a pity! And I need money so badly! Don’t you believe me? I’m in the last extremity.

VENGEROVITCH i. It follows, doctor, that you need patients in the last extremity? {Laughs.)

TRILETZKY. A clever jest. But a hard one to swallow! Ha! Ha! Ha! And again Ha! Ha! Ha! Laugh, Platonov! Do laugh, if you can manage it!

VENGEROVITCH i. As it is, doctor, you owe me money.

TRILETZKY. Why say it? Who doesn’t know it? How much do I owe you?

VENGEROVITCH I. Let’s see . . . Oh, yes. Two hundred and forty-five roubles, I think.

TRILETZKY. Lend me some money, generous man! Oblige me, and I’ll oblige you some day. Come, be good, and generous, and brave! The bravest Jew is one who gives loans without a note! Be the bravest Jew, Abram Abramitch!

VENGEROVITCH I. H’m . . . Jew . . . It’s Jews this, and Jews that. ... I assure you, gentlemen, during my whole life I’ve not met a single Russian who gave money without a note. And I assure you that nowhere more than among dishonest Jews is there such a wide practice of lending of money without a note! . . . May God kill me on the spot, if I lie! {He sighs.) You young people might learn a great deal, with profit to yourselves, from us Jews, and especially from old Jews. ... A great deal, indeed . . . {He takes a wallet from his pocket.) You accept money with eagerness and pleasure, and then you love to make a jest about it. ... It isn’t right, gentlemen! I’m an old man ... I have children... You think me a scoundrel, yet you expect me to act like a human being. ... Is that why you’ve gone to the university? . . .

TRILETZKY. You express yourself well, Abram Abramitch!

VENGEROVITCH i. No, not well, gentlemen, but badly... One might think that between you, cultured folk, and my clerks there’s no difference... How much do you want?

TRILETZKY. As much as you’ll give... {Pause.)

VENGEROVITCH I. I can give you fifty rubles... {Hands over the money.)

TRILETZKY. That’s excellent! {Takes the money.)

VENGEROVITCH I. Doctor, you’re wearing my hat!

TRILETZKY. Yours, is it? H’m . . . {Takes the hat off.) There, take it... Why don’t you have it cleaned? It won’t cost much. How’s top-hat in Hebrew?

VENGEROVITCH i. As you like. {Puts his hat on.)

TRILETZKY. D’you know, a top-hat becomes you. You look quite like a baron! Why don’t you buy yourself a baronetcy?

VENGEROVITCH I. I don’t know anything! Let me be in peace!

TRILETZKY. You’re great! Why don’t they want to understand you?

VENGEROVITCH I. Why don’t they want to let me be in peace, that’s what I’d like to know! (Goes into the house.)