Complete Works of Anton Chekhov

SCENE XII

THE SAME AND KHROUSCHOV

KHROUSCHOV (in agitation): I’m very glad to find you in,

Alexander Vladimirovich... Excuse me for coming unseasonably

and for being in your way... But this isn’t the point. How do you do?

SEREBRYAKOV: What is it you want?

KHROUSCHOV: Excuse me, I’m agitated . . . it’s because I rode so quickly... Alexander Vladimirovich, I hear that you have just sold your wood to Kouznezov for timber. If it is true, not mere gossip, then I beg you, don’t do it.

ELENA ANDREYEVNA: Mikhail Lvovich, my husband isn’t in the mood now to talk business. Won’t you come with me into the garden?

KHROUSCHOV: But I must speak at once!

ELENA ANDREYEVNA: As you please. ... I can do no more. . . . [Goes out.

KHROUSCHOV: Permit me to drive over to Kouznezov and tell him that you’ve changed your mind... Yes? Will you allow me? To fell a thousand trees, to destroy them the sake of two or three thousand roubles, for women’s rags,

whims, luxury. ... To destroy them so that posterity should curse our savagery! If you, a scholar, a famous man, dare perpetrate such a cruelty, what may not others do who stand so much below you! How very terrible!

ORLOVSKY: Misha, talk about it later!

SEREBRYAKOV: Come, let’s go, Ivan Ivanych; this will never end.

KHROUSCHOV (barring SEREBRYAKOV’S way): In that case,

look here, professor. ... In three months’ time I shall have the money and buy it myself.

ORLOVSKY: Excuse me, Misha, this is rather strange. . . .

Why, you, let us say, are a man of ideas ... we thank you most humbly for it, we bow to the ground before you.

(Bowing.) But why such a rumpus?

KHROUSCHOV (flaring up): You universal godfather!

There are too many good-natured men on earth, and this always seemed suspicious to me! They’re good-natured because they’re indifferent!

ORLOVSKY: Why, you’ve come here to quarrel, my boy.

It is not right! An idea is an idea, but look here, old chap,

this thing too is needed. (Pointing to his heart.) Without this thing, my dear fellow, all your forests and peat-beds are not worth a brass farthing... Don’t take offence, but you’re still green — ugh! how very green!

SEREBRYAKOV (sharply): Next time, please don’t trouble to come in unannounced, and please spare me your psychopathic pranks! You were all bent on trying my patience, and you’ve succeeded... Please leave me alone! All these forests of yours, peat-beds of yours, I consider sheer raving and psychopathy — there,

you have my opinion! Come, Ivan Ivanych!

[Goes out.

ORLOVSKY (following after him): Alexander my boy, that’s too much! . . . Why be so harsh? [Goes out.

KHROUSCHOV (alone, after a pause): Raving psychopathy!

. . . According to the famous scholar and professor I am mad. ... I bow to the authority of Your Excellency and I’m going home immediately to shave my head... No!

It is the earth, which still endures you, that is mad!

(Goes hurriedly towards the right door; SONYA, who has stood listening outside all through the last scene,

comes in by the left door.)