Complete Works of Anton Chekhov

SCENE XVIII.

PLATONOV and SOFYA EGOROVNA (coming out of the house).

PLATONOV. To this day I am one who has no place . . . only the place of a school teacher... That’s what’s happened since we parted last! (They sit dovcn.) [My golden years are gone from me forever! I’ve wasted them on filthy trifles... (I’ve buried everything in a grave, except this body.)] I won’t speak of other people, but what have I done for myself? What have I sown in myself, nourished and developed? . . . And now! Oh, what terrible deformity... How revolting! Evil seethes round me, defiles the earth, swallows my brothers in Christ; while I sit with folded arms, as after heavy labour; I sit, look and am silent. ... I am twenty-seven years old, for thirty years longer I shall be like this. • . . I see no prospect of change! . . . only a fat dressing-gown existence, stupefaction, a complete indifference to everything, a life that is more death than life! A wasted life! My hair stands on end when I think of this death! {Pause.) How shall I raise myself, Sofya Egorovna? You are silent, you don’t know... How can you know? Sofya Egor- ovna, don’t think I’m sorry for myself! [I’m too near the time when I shall decide that I’m an irretrievably lost man!] To the devil with this me! But what’s become of you? Where is your pure soul, your frankness, truthfulness, boldness? Where your health? What have you done with it all, Sofya Egorovna? To waste whole years in idleness, to live on the labour of others, to take pleasure in the suffering of others, and at the same time to be able to look one straight in the eyes . . . that is depravity! SOFYA EGOROVNA (rises’).

PLATONOV (forces her to sit down). Stop! One more word. What has made you affected, lazy, free with words? Who has taught you to lie? [Who gave you the right to spend whole days in discussing labour, suffering, freedom, if you are doing nothing for them and have no intention of doing anything?] And how were you before? Allow me to finish! I’ll soon let you go! ... How good you were, Sofya Egorovna, how great! There’s yet time, my dear, to rise above all this. Think it over! gather your strength together and rise, for God’s sake! (He seizes her hand.) My dear, tell me frankly, for the sake of our common past, what made you marry this man? What tempted you to it?

SOFYA EGOROVNA. He’s a splendid man.

PLATONOV. Why say what you don’t believe? SOFYA EGOROVNA {rising). He’s my husband, and I must ask you . . .

PLATONOV. I don’t care what he is. I’ll speak the truth! Sit down! (Forces her to sit.) Why didn’t you choose a working man, a sufferer? Why did you take this pigmy sunken in debt and idleness? Why him of all men?

SOFYA EGOROVNA. Stop it! Don’t shout! Someone’s coming! (Several guests pass by.)

PLATONOV. The devil with them! Let them hear! (In a hushed voice.) Forgive me for my sharpness... You see, I loved you! I loved you above everything else on earth, and that’s why you are dear to me now... How I loved this hair, these hands, this face! Why do you use powder, Sofya Egorovna? Chuck it! Oh! If you could only meet another kind of man, you would rise quickly, but here you’ll only sink deeper into the mire! Poor girl! If I were less unfortunate than I am, if I had greater strength, I would tear you and me by the roots out of this mud. {Pause.) Oh, life! Why don’t we live as we might live!

SOFYA EGOROVNA (rising, and covering her jace with her hands). Leave me! (The din in the house becomes audible.) Go away! (Goes toward the house.)

PLATONOV (following her). Take your hands from your face! So! You’re not going away from here? Say, no! We’ll be friends, Sofya! You’re not going away? We’ll have some more talks, won’t we? Yes? (The din in the house becomes increasingly audible, and running footfalls are heard on the stairs.) SOFYA EGOROVNA. Yes.

PLATONOV. We shall be friends, my dear... Why should we be enemies? Allow me . . . Another word or two . . . (Voinitzev comes running from the house, followed by the guests.)