Delphi Complete Works of Anton Chekhov

SCENE III,:

SASHA and PLATONOV.

PLATONOV (entering). Just to spite you: right! right!

Actually, my dear, neither right nor left! A drunken man has no right or left. He only knows forward, backward, aslant and below. . . .

SASHA. This way, please, little drunken fellow. Sit down here. And I’ll show you how to march aslant and below! Sit down! (Flings herself on his neck.)

PLATONOV. I obey... (He sits down.) Why aren’t you abed, you little beast?

SASHA. I don’t feel like it... (Sits down at his side.) You’re rather late!

PLATONOV. Yes, late... Has the passenger train passed by yet?

SASHA. Not yet. The goods train passed by an hour ago.

PLATONOV. That means, it isn’t two yet. When did you get back from there?

SASHA. I was home at ten... When I returned I found Kolka bawling for all he was worth. ... I left without saying good-bye. I hope they’ll forgive me... Was there any dancing after I left?

PLATONOV. There were dances, and supper, and scandals too. ... By the way, have you heard? Did it happen while you were there? Old Glagolyev had a stroke!

SASHA. YOU don’t mean it!

PLATONOV. Yes . . . Your brother attended to him. . . .

SASHA. How did it come about? What’s the matter with him? Why, he seemed strong to me...

PLATONOV. It was only a light stroke... Light, fortunately for him, and unfortunately for the little donkey whom he stupidly dignifies by the name of son... They took him home... Not a single affair but has its scandal! Such is our unlucky lot!

SASHA. I can imagine how frightened Anna Petrovna and Sofya Egorovna must have been! What a fine woman Sofya Egorovna is! I seldom see such splendid women... What’s there about her . . . (Pause.)

PLATONOV. Ah! It was stupid, insolent...

SASHA. What?

PLATONOV. I made such a mess of things! (Covers his face with his hands.) Simply shameful!

SASHA. What have you done?

PLATONOV. What have I done? Nothing good! Why didn’t I foresee the consequences?

SASHA (aside). The poor fellow has had a drop too much. (To him.) Let’s go to bed!

PLATONOV. I was nasty as never before! How can I respect myself now? There’s no greater misfortune than to be deprived of one’s self-respect! My God! There’s nothing in me that one might grasp, nothing in me that one might respect and love! (Pause.) Yet you love me. ... I don’t understand it! That means, you’ve found something in me that can be loved. You do love me?

SASHA. What a question! Is it possible for me not to love you?

PLATONOV. I know. But please name that good in me, for which you love me! What is it you do love in me?

SASHA. H’m . . . Why do I love you? What a strange man you are tonight, Misha! How am I not to love you if you’re my husband?

PLATONOV. SO you love me only because I’m your husband?

SASHA. I don’t understand you.

PLATONOV. You don’t understand me? (Laughs.) You little silly! Why aren’t you a fly? Among flies you with your mind would be the very cleverest fly! (Kisses her forehead.) What would happen to you if you understood me, if you didn’t have your knack of not seeing things? Would you be happy in your woman’s way, if you could get into your innocent head the fact that there’s nothing in me that can be loved? Don’t understand, my treasure, don’t see, if you want to go on loving me! (Kisses her hand.) My little female! I am happy by the grace of your being unable to see! Like other people, I have a family ... a family. . . .

SASHA (laughing). You strange man!

PLATONOV. My treasure! Little, silly girl! It’s not a wife you ought to be . . . but you ought to be shown under glass! How did you manage to bring little Nikolka into the world? It’s not Nikolkas you ought to bear . . . but you ought to make toy soldiers out of dough, my dear better half!

SASHA. What nonsense you do say, Misha!

PLATONOV. May heaven preserve you from any understanding! Don’t understand! Then the earth will rest on whales, and the whales on pitchforks! Where could we get permanent wives, if you were not here on earth, Sasha? (Tries to kiss her.)

SASHA (resisting). Get out! (Angrily.) Why, then, did you marry me if I’m as stupid as all that? You might have married a clever one! I didn’t force you to marry me!

PLATONOV (laughing). So you can actually be angry! Ah, the deuce take it! That’s quite a revelation! A revelation, indeed! So you can be angry! You’re not joking, are you?

SASHA (rising). Go, man, and have your sleep! If you hadn’t a drop too much, you wouldn’t have made any discoveries! A drunkard! A teacher, to boot! You’re not a teacher, but the devil knows what! Go, and have your sleep! (Slaps him on the shoulder and goes into the school.)