Delphi Complete Works of Anton Chekhov

SCENE XI.

PLATONOV and afterwards GREKOVA.

PLATONOV (alone). A cigarette, Nikolai, and some water! (Glances round.) What’s become of them? Well, I must start... (Pause.) [What a mess I’ve made of things! ] I’ve ruined weak women . . . they were all wholly blameless. ... It would have been different if I had killed them under the pressure of terrific passions ... in Spanish fashion . . . but I’ve killed them stupidly, in the Russian manner... (Waves a hand bejore his eyes.) Mouches volantes . . . little clouds . . . I’m growing delirious. ... I feel crushed... (Covers his face with his hands.) Shame, burning shame... What pain shame can give! (He rises.) I was cold, hungry, worn out, done for, and I had played my wretched part . . . and I came into this house... They gave me a warm corner, dressed me, were kind to me. ... I paid them well! Still, I am ill. ... I feel badly. ... I ought to kill myself... (Walks up to the table.) Choose . . . here is a whole arsenal . . . (Picks up a revolver.) Hamlet feared dreams ... I fear . . . life! What will I be if I go on living? Shame will gnaw at me. . . .

(Puts the revolver to his temples.) Finita la come- dia! One clever beast the less! Christ, forgive my sins! (Pause.) Well? Soon death will come... What do I care now if my hand hurts... (Pause.) I haven’t the strength! (Places the revolver on the table.) I want to live... (Sits down on the divan.) (Enter Grekova.) I wish I had some water... Where’s Triletzky? (Sees Grekova.) Who is this? Ah-a-a . . . (Laughs.) My wicked enemy... Are we going to judgment tomorrow? (Pause.) GREKOVA. Of course not. After your letter we are no longer enemies.

PLATONOV. It’s all the same. I’d like some water. GREKOVA. Water? What’s the matter?

PLATONOV. I am ill. ... I have a fever. ... I was pleased. ... It was clever. It would have been still more clever if you’d had nothing to do with me... I wanted to shoot myself... (Laughs.) I didn’t succeed... An instinct... The mind pursues its own, nature its own... You’re a clever girl! (Kisses her hand.) Listen... Do you want to listen to me? GREKOVA. Yes, yes, yes . . .

PLATONOV. Take me to you! I’m ill, I want water, I’m suffering unbearable torture! I want to sleep, there’s no place where ... If only I could lie down in a barn, if only in some corner. ... I want water, and some quinine. Please! (Stretches out a hand.) GREKOVA. Of course, you may come to me! With pleasure! You may live at my house as long as you like... But you don’t know all I’ve done! Come, let’s go!

PLATONOV. Merci, my clever little girl. ... A cigarette, some water, and a bed! Is it raining? GREKOVA. Yes.

PLATONOV. We shall have to go in the rain... We shan’t go to a court of justice. Peace! (Looks at her.)

GREKOVA. Come! I have a covered carriage.

PLATONOV. You are lovely... Why do you blush? I shan’t touch you. But I’ll kiss your cool hand... (Kisses her hand and -pulls her to him.) GREKOVA (sitting down on his knees). No . . . don’t! (Rises.) Let’s go... Your face is strange... Let go my hand!

PLATONOV. I’m ill. (Rises.) We’ll go... On the cheek . . . (Kisses her cheek.) No ulterior motive. I can’t . . . Anyhow, it’s all nonsense. Let’s go, Marya Efimovna! And, please, the sooner the better! Here’s the revolver with which I wanted to shoot myself... On the cheek . . . (Kisses her cheek?) I’m delirious, I know . . . but I see your face... I love all human beings! All! I love you too... Human beings have been, above all else, dear to me. ... I didn’t want to hurt anyone, and I’ve hurt all... All... (Kisses her hand.) GREKOVA. I understood everything. ... I understand your position... It’s Sofya . . . yes?

PLATONOV. Sofi, Zizi, Mimi, Masha... There are many of you. ... I love you all. I was at the University, and I used to say kind words to the fallen ... in the Theatre Square... The people were in the theatre, and I in the Square... There was one . . . Shall I show you her letters? GREKOVA. What’s the matter with you?

PLATONOV. You think I’m out of my wits? No, it’s this way... It’s fever . . . delirium . . . Ask Triletzky. (Takes her by the shoulders.) They all love me... All! It would happen, I’d humiliate them . . . and they love you even then... There’s Grekova, for one. ... I humiliated her by pushing her on to a table, and she loves me. You’re Grekova herself, as it happens... I’m sorry... GREKOVA. What gives you pain?

PLATONOV. Platonov gives me pain. You love me, don’t you? You love me? Be frank. ... I don’t want anything... Only tell me, do you love me? GREKOVA. Yes... (Puts her head on his breast.) Yes. . . .

PLATONOV (kissing her head). They all love me. ... As soon as I get well, I’ll corrupt them... I used to say kind words to them at first, and now I corrupt them. . . .

GREKOVA. It’s all the same to me. ... I don’t want anything... You are the only human being there is. I don’t want to know any others! You can do with me as you like... You are the only human being there is! (Weeps.)

PLATONOV. I understand King CEdipus who pierced his own eyes! How low I am, and how deeply I am conscious of my lowness! Go away from me! It isn’t worth it. ... I am ill. (Frees himself.) I’m going away soon... Excuse me, Marya Efimovna! I’ll go out of my mind! Where’s Triletzky? (Enter Sofya Egorovna.)