The Kings Of Cool

59

Ben follows Chad out onto the top floor of the parking structure and takes a seat in his Mercedes.

“Unless it’s about the Lakers,” Chad says as he turns the ignition, “don’t say anything.”

Ben doesn’t have anything to say about the Lakers, so he keeps his mouth shut. Chad drives out of the structure onto MacArthur Boulevard, down to John Wayne Airport.

“We’re just going to drive around for a few minutes,” he says. “I know my car is clean, and if you’re wearing a wire the signal is jammed at the airport. God bless John Wayne and Homeland Security.”

“I’m not wearing a wire,” Ben says.

“Probably not,” Chad answers. “Okay, the thirty-five: Twenty-five of it goes to assure that the chain of evidence gets fucked up and you walk. Ten of it stays with me, call it a finder’s fee. In addition, you pay my fee-three hundred a billable hour, plus expenses. I’m not just being greedy-you have to pay my fee to assure lawyer-client confidentiality and show that you’re not just engaging me to deliver payoffs into the right hands.”

“But that’s what I’m doing, right?” Ben asks. “Engaging you to deliver payoffs to the OC Drug Task Force.”

“Thirty-five K a month, kid,” Chad says. “Call it the cost of doing business. Really you should be setting aside about twenty percent of your income for legal fees, anyway.”

“Thanks for the advice.”

“You’re lucky this one is state and not federal,” Chad says. “These federal guys these days? If you can touch them, they think they’re first-round NFL draft choices. Now, don’t even think what you’re thinking-which is you could go to the state people directly, cut out the middleman, and save yourself my commission. You can’t. First of all, you don’t know the right people to approach, and if you touch up the wrong people you have bigger problems. Second, even if you did, I’m a frequent flyer, if you understand the concept, so they’re not going to take your slice at the risk of the whole pie. Third, you’re much better off having a long-term relationship with me, because if you ever really screw the pooch, I’m a stud monkey in court, and I also have jurors and judges in my inventory.”

“I wasn’t thinking it.”

“No worries,” Chad says, “I just like everything to be up front and out in the open from the start. That way, there are no misunderstandings later. Questions?”

“You guarantee the charges get dropped?”

“Locked in,” Chad says. “You know who doesn’t walk on cases like this? Poor people- they’re fucked. It’s a very bad business to go into undercapitalized.”

Chad drives back to the office building.

“You park in the structure?” he asks Ben when they get there.

“I did.”

“Bring the ticket back up to Rebecca,” Chad says. “We validate.”

Ben decides to just pay the fourteen bucks.

Cost of doing business.