Light and dark

[100]

BUT THEY were bound together by the process of unveiling they had begun. Nothing short of bringing certain things to light by means of conversation, hammering them out of each other, would suffice. For Tsuda in particular, this was a pressing necessity. His need to produce some cash was urgent — a source of funds was right in front of him. He had the feeling if he once let it slip away it would remain out of reach forever. As a consequence he had lapsed, in this regard at least, into a position of weakness relative to O-Hide. He wondered how he might retrieve the topic of conversation that had been dropped.

“Why not have lunch with me before you go?”

It was just the hour of the day when this overture was appropriate. The fact that Hori had taken his mother and children to Yokohama that morning for a visit with relatives so that no one was at home allowed him the convenience of imparting to the gesture a special significance.

“In any event there’s nothing for you to do at home.”

O-Hide did as Tsuda bid her. A dialogue between them was easily resurrected. But this was a simple conversation befitting a brother and sister and provided none of the sustenance they required. Each awaited the opportunity to venture more deeply into the thoughts of the other.

“Brother, I brought something with me.”

“Yes?”

“Something you could use.”

“Is that so?”

Tsuda scarcely bothered to respond. His indifference was proportional to his self-esteem. He was disinclined, psychologically and as a matter of form, to lower his head to his sister. But he wanted the money. To O-Hide the money meant nothing. But she wanted to oblige her brother to bow to her. And achieving her objective required using the money her brother desired as bait. The inevitable effect was to irritate him.

“Shall I give it to you?”

“If you like.”

“Father isn’t about to help you out.”

“Maybe not.”

“Mother says exactly that in her letter to me. I brought it along today thinking to show you, and then I forgot all about it.”

“You’ve already told me what she wrote.”

“Exactly. And so I’ve brought something along.”

“To aggravate me? Or do you intend to hand it over?”

As if she had been struck, O-Hide fell suddenly silent. And as he watched, tears welled in the corners of her beautiful eyes. Tsuda could only imagine they were tears of chagrin.

“What’s made you so cynical, Brother? Why can’t you accept what’s genuine in another person as you used to?”

“I’m exactly the same as I always was. You’re the one who’s changed!”

This time a look of dismay appeared on O-Hide’s face.

“How have I changed? Since when? Tell me.”

“You shouldn’t have to ask, just think about it and you’ll know.”

“I won’t, I don’t! Please tell me!”

Tsuda observed O-Hide lean toward him beseechingly with coldness in his eyes. Having come this far, he deliberated whether it would be more in his own interest to restore his sister’s sense of well-being or to squash her altogether. Resolving to take the middle road, he commenced speaking slowly.

“O-Hide, you may not see this, but from where your brother stands it appears you’ve changed a lot since you married Hori-san.”

“Of course I have! What woman doesn’t change after marriage and two children?”

“So it’s no surprise.”

“But how are you thinking I’ve changed toward you? Tell me that.”

“It’s a question of…”

Tsuda didn’t finish. But he made sure that his emphasis conveyed to O-Hide that he wasn’t incapable of finishing. O-Hide paused briefly and then pushed back.

“You never forget for one minute that I tattled on you to Kyoto, do you!”

“That’s not important.”

“Oh yes, it is! I have a sworn enemy as a result.”

“What are you talking about? Who?”

The unfortunate inquiry ignited the name that had been inscribed between them in, as it were, invisible ink. “O-Nobu.” O-Hide thrust the name in her brother’s face as though it were a firebrand.

“It’s you who’ve changed, Brother. You’re an entirely different brother now than you ever were before you married Sister. Anyone can see you’re a different person.”