UNCLE OKAMOTO ran on about a variety of things that happened to interest him.
As a man achieves enlightenment encountering a woman, so a woman achieves enlightenment encountering a man. But this is a truth limited to pious Buddhists before marriage. The minute the principals enter into a relationship as a couple, the truth turns in its sleep and presents us with a different face, its diametrical opposite. To wit, a man cannot achieve enlightenment without separating from his woman and vice versa. The power of attraction that has obtained until now instantly transforms into a repellant force. From that moment on, we are obliged to acknowledge the truth of the old saw: a man belongs, when all is said and done, in the company of men, a woman, in the company of other women. In other words, the male-female principle, the state of harmony that exists between them, is merely a step on the road to realizing the principle of male-female disharmony that is imminently on its way….
O-Nobu wasn’t sure whether these were original thoughts or a repackaging of Fujii, nor could she be certain what portion was intended seriously and what was in jest. Her uncle, who was useless with a pen, was terrifyingly agile when it came to talking. He was the sort of man who could dress up a simple thought with hand-sewn kimonos beyond counting. Wisdom packaged as proverbs rolled off his tongue ceaselessly. Objections from O-Nobu only added fat to the fire, feeding his fluency until there was no stopping it. In the end she was obliged to cut short the conversation.
“You’re so long-winded, Uncle.”
“You’ll never best him with talk, so you might as well just give it up. If you say something he gets pushier.”
“I know — he’s trying to brew some male-female discord.”
Uncle Okamoto observed O-Nobu and her aunt with a grin as they exchanged their critiques, waiting for a break in their dialogue to pronounce sentence.
“It appears you’ve finally surrendered. And I accept your surrender, I don’t pursue the defeated — because one of a man’s virtues is pity for the weak. Even a man like me.”
Assuming the well-satisfied look of the victor, he rose, slid open the shoji, and stepped outside; decisive footsteps in the direction of the study gradually receded. When he returned a minute later he was holding four or five slender volumes.
“O-Nobu. I’ve brought you something amusing. Give these to Yoshio-san the next time you visit the hospital.”
“What are they?”
O-Nobu took the books at once and looked at the covers. Inexperienced with foreign languages, she had difficulty deciphering the English titles. She read them haltingly, one word at a time: “Book of Jokes. English Wit and Humor…”
“Gracious!”
“They’re all funny. Puns and riddles and suchlike. And they’re the right size for reading in bed; they won’t give him a stiff neck.”
“Made to order for you, Uncle—”
“Maybe so, but it’s harmless, nothing to make Yoshio-san angry no matter what a stick-in-the-mud he is.”
“Of course he won’t be angry.”
“Anyway, this is in the interest of couple harmony. Take it to him and give it a try.”
O-Nobu thanked her uncle, and when she put the books in her lap, he held out to her the slip of paper in his other hand.
“This is reparation for making you cry before. I promised, so please take it along.”
O-Nobu knew what the paper was before she had received it from her uncle’s hand. He waved it pointedly in front of her face.
“When you’re experiencing discord with your mate, this is absolutely the best medicine. In most cases one dose of this and you’ll recover at once — it’s a miraculous cure.”
Looking up at her uncle, O-Nobu protested weakly.
“We’re not suffering discord. We’re truly in harmony.”
“So much the better. If you take this when you’re united, it will make your hearts even healthier. Your bodies, too, more robust. With this wonder drug you can’t lose either way.”
O-Nobu took the check from her uncle’s hand, and, as she peered at it, tears filled her eyes.