Light and dark

[124]

THE FACT that Hori’s mother had not yet returned from taking her grandchild to visit a relative in Yokohama provided an unexpected opportunity to O-Nobu, who had been ushered into the sitting room. Her absence, likely to be convenient or awkward depending on how it was viewed, spared O-Nobu an old woman she found difficult to talk to but at the same time obliged her to deal face to face and alone with her adversary of the moment, O-Hide.

As it happened, this unforeseen circumstance, which she couldn’t have known about in advance, had the effect of throwing her off her stride from the outset. Whereas normally Hori’s mother would emerge first of all with her hair in a tight bun and make a dutiful fuss over O-Nobu, today for the first time not only was O-Hide there from the beginning, but the old lady she was eagerly awaiting showed no sign of appearing at all, a deviation that upset her timing. The glance she cast in O-Hide’s direction at that moment was lightly touched with panic. It wasn’t a look of regret about what had happened or anything of the kind. It was awkwardness that followed hard on the self-satisfaction of having triumphed in yesterday’s battle. It was mild fear about the revenge that might be exacted against her. It was the turmoil of deliberation about how to get through the situation.

Even as she bent her gaze on O-Hide, O-Nobu sensed that she was being read by her antagonist. Too late, the revealing glance had arced suddenly as a bolt of lightning from some high source beyond the reach of her artifice. Lacking the authority to constrain this emergence from an unexpected darkness, she had little choice but to content herself with awaiting its effect.

The glance was not lost on O-Hide. But her response was unexpected. When the recent sequence of events was considered in light of the personality she consistently revealed to an observer, the breech in the wall of normality as she defined it, that is, and O-Nobu and Tsuda lunging at the breech and reveling in it, there was no reason to expect she would return to normal peacefully. Even O-Nobu, who placed considerable store in her own diplomacy, didn’t believe that this could be settled without provoking the next upheaval, be it large or small.

She was therefore surprised. When O-Hide had taken a seat and, contrary to her expectation, proceeded to greet her more warmly than ever, she had to wonder if she were dreaming. Queasily in her companion’s behavior she observed what appeared to be her determination to dispel any such doubts. Her surprise at this remarkable change gave way to uneasiness about its significance.

But O-Hide made no attempt to answer that crucial question. To the very end, she appeared disinclined to say one word about the unfortunate clash at the hospital the previous day.

Inasmuch as her companion intentionally avoided mentioning this sensitive subject, it would have been odd for O-Nobu to bring it up. There was no need to go out of her way to touch on a sore spot. That said, to what purpose had she dragged herself here today if not to put this somehow behind them and clear the air? But since it appeared that a reconciliation had been achieved without undergoing a process of resolution, it would have been foolish to air their differences.

O-Nobu was clever enough to feel outmaneuvered. As the conversation continued to glide smoothly forward as though over ice, she began to feel that something was lacking. Finally she decided to pierce her companion’s defenses and have a look inside. Adventurous as she was when it came to a sortie of this nature, she was not unaware that a failed assault in this case would expose her to danger. But she was bolstered by her confidence in her own prowess.

If circumstances permitted, she wanted to try touching O-Hide in a certain place above her heart. Percussing the patient in hopes of stimulating an echo of her genuine feelings was by no means an objective of the visit she had planned in consultation with Tsuda, but to O-Nobu it was a far more important mission than simply enabling a reconciliation.

This mission, which must be hidden from Tsuda, closely resembled in nature the incident that Tsuda had to keep secret from O-Nobu. Just as Tsuda was concerned about what Kobayashi had told her in his absence, so O-Nobu wanted to ascertain what O-Hide had said to Tsuda when she was not in the room.

After deliberating about how to create an opening, O-Nobu decided her only choice was to mention once again O-Hide’s visit to her house on her way home from the Fujiis’. On arriving she had opened with, “I’m so sorry I was at the bath when you stopped in”; this time, when she attempted to revive the subject with a question, “Was there something you wanted?” O-Hide replied with a simple “No!” and deftly turned her aside.