Light and dark

[134]

TSUDA HAD a particular reason for allowing this misunderstanding to obtain. Kobayashi had disinterred the reason. It was in the soil of this misunderstanding that the Okamotos’ good intentions toward him grew, and it was in his interest to preserve those feelings as best he could. Treating O-Nobu solicitously, in other words, was the same as currying favor with the Okamotos, and inasmuch as Okamoto and Yoshikawa were as close as brothers, it stood to reason that the better care he took of O-Nobu, the more assured his future became. A man who prided himself on his unfaltering perspicacity where his own interests were concerned, Tsuda wasn’t fool enough to celebrate the fact that Madam Yoshikawa had acted as formal go-between at the time of his marriage simply because he considered it an honor. In her involvement in his marriage he perceived a significance that was distinct from and went beyond honor.

But this was hardly more than a surface consideration. Deeper inside, layers below, there was a bottom beneath the bottom. Long before things had come to this pass, Tsuda and Madam Yoshikawa had been yoked together by circumstances unknown to others. Having traversed together a tortuous path private to themselves, they had been obliged to view the new relationship that had been forged half a year ago with more complex feelings than the others.

To put it plainly, before he married O-Nobu, Tsuda had loved another woman. And it was Madam Yoshikawa who had encouraged, perhaps even ignited, his love. She had manipulated the couple at will, contriving capriciously to push them together and then to tear them apart, and she had amused herself watching them on each occasion tumble into helpless confusion or drive each other to distraction before her eyes. Nonetheless it had never occurred to Tsuda to question his firm belief in her kindness. Madam on her part never hesitated to insist that a happy destiny was in store for the couple. Not content to speculate, when she saw that the moment had ripened, she attempted to unite their hands forever. However, at the last possible moment, her confidence received a bone-shivering blow. There was no protecting Tsuda’s arrogance, either; it received its own drubbing at the same time. Once the precious bird had flown suddenly away, she had never returned to Madam’s hand.

Madam Yoshikawa blamed Tsuda. Tsuda blamed her. Madam felt responsible. But Tsuda was unable to assume responsibility. To this day, unable to understand what had happened, he wandered in a dense fog. Meanwhile there arose the question of marriage to O-Nobu. Thinking to participate in this second romance, Madam Yoshikawa went into action. By undertaking the role of formal go-between with her husband, she neatly resolved her unfinished business with Tsuda.

Observing her minutely at the time, Tsuda was convinced by what he saw.

She intends this as compensation to me.

Certain he was correct, he attempted to derive from her intention a general policy toward his future. Living in harmony with O-Nobu, he was convinced, would constitute partial fulfillment of his obligation to the lady. He went so far as to assume that his future was guaranteed so long as he didn’t quarrel with his wife.

It was hardly surprising, then, having dealt with Madam Yoshikawa from the outset in the certainty that there was no miscalculation in his understanding, that he should be alarmed to perceive coming from his companion even the faintest trace of disapproval directed at O-Nobu. Before he could reform his own position in a way that would please her, he had first to ascertain whether he was correct.

“I know you think I treat O-Nobu too well, but if you’re also thinking she has her own shortcomings, I’d be grateful for your advice on that subject, too.”

“As a matter of fact, it’s just that I’ve come to see you about.”

Tsuda was consumed with curiosity about what she would say. The lady continued.

“I bring this up only because I don’t believe anyone else could say it to your face — and please don’t think I’ve been coached by O-Hide. If this should be awkward for her later, I’d feel awful. I’m sure you understand. It’s true she came here with the same thing on her mind. But her point is different. She’s mostly worried about Kyoto. I understand, from your point of view, that Kyoto is all about your father and simply can’t be neglected. Especially since he asked my husband to look after you — you can hardly afford to turn your back and say nothing. The problem, as I see it, is that Kyoto is only a branch and the root is elsewhere; I think you should consider beginning treatment at the root. Otherwise we’re certain to run into the same sort of misunderstanding we have just now. It’s one thing if it’s merely a misunderstanding, but if O-Hide comes racing over here each time, it makes it very difficult for me to say anything.”

It was clear enough that the root of misfortune the lady had in mind was O-Nobu. And how was she suggesting it should be treated? Inasmuch as there was no physical illness, Tsuda wondered how the word “treatment” could be used so casually unless it referred to separation or divorce.