Light and dark

[119]

HE DELIVERED his surprises in stages in his own singular way. He began by chaffing Tsuda.

“She told us she’s been fighting with you. She went on about it and Sensei was pretty upset, your aunt, too.”

“And you were just listening on the sidelines?”

Kobayashi scratched his head, smiling awkwardly.

“It’s not as if I was trying to listen! I couldn’t help hearing. Anyway, O-Hide talked and Sensei did the listening.”

It was partly O-Hide’s nature to be willful and single-minded. When this predilection was stimulated in some way, her normal composure evaporated and she was capable of displaying a sudden and surprising fierceness that was foreign to anything in Tsuda’s own temperament. Uncle Fujii was no slouch himself, a man who was never satisfied until he had plumbed a situation to the bottom of the well without caring how that was to be achieved. His attitude toward a companion at a time like this was to insist to the bitter end, even if only in words, that all things must be aligned and consecutive in a context that made sense. Putting his thoughts in order on the page had become a habit that was reflected in his approach to daily life, and its impact was visible in his tenacity. In an argument he granted the other side unlimited opportunity to speak. In return he asked an unlimited number of questions. Past a certain point, it was frequently the case that the nature of his questions transformed into interrogation.

Tsuda pictured his uncle and his sister sitting across from each other. He couldn’t help worrying that their exchange might have provoked yet another upheaval. In Kobayashi’s presence, however, he strove to appear, on the surface at least, insouciant.

“She must have had a grand time cutting me to pieces.”

Kobayashi’s response, after laughing loudly, was to say,

“It’s unlike you to fight with O-Hide.”

“She picked the fight because it was me! You can bet she’d be more careful in front of Hori.”

“Maybe so — you hear a lot about a lover’s spat, but I wonder if a sibling quarrel isn’t more common. I’ve never had a wife so I don’t know a thing about that department, but even I have a younger sister, so if we’re talking about a sibling quarrel I can understand what that might be like. But you know what? I may not be much of a big brother, but I don’t think I’ve ever quarreled with my kid sister.”

“Kid sisters aren’t all alike.”

“But it must have something to do with the brother.”

“Even a big brother gets mad sometimes.”

Kobayashi grinned.

“Maybe so. But you can’t be thinking this was a good time to make O-Hide fighting mad.”

“Obviously not. No one would go out of his way to get into a fight with a hellcat like that.”

Kobayashi laughed even louder. With each outburst he became more voluble.

“There was no avoiding it, right? But that’s my line. I’m a man who doesn’t give a fig who I fight with. You’re looking at a human being who’s fallen so low he can’t possibly be harmed no matter whom he fights. Even if a fight has repercussions, they can’t touch me. I’ve never had anything that could be harmed. In other words, if a fight changes anything, the change is bound to be favorable to me — so I have good reasons for welcoming a scrap. But you’re different! Your fights are guaranteed not to benefit you. And there’s no one around who understands self-interest as well as you do. And not only understands; you live every day on the basis of that understanding. At least you believe that’s how you ought to be living. You see where I’m heading? So for such a man—”

Tsuda interrupted impatiently.

“I get it. I understand. You’re advising me not to collide with people. Since a collision with you in particular will only hurt me, you’re advising me to me to proceed as amicably as I can, isn’t that it?”

Kobayashi’s face was a picture of innocence.

“With me? I have no intention of fighting with you.”

“I told you I get it!”

“If you do, that’s fine. Let me just say to avoid any misunderstanding, I’ve been talking all the while about O-Hide-san.”

“I know that.”

“And you’re thinking about Kyoto, right? About the Kyoto situation ending badly?”

“Obviously.”

“But the trouble is, that isn’t all! There will be other repercussions. If you’re not careful.”

Kobayashi stared at Tsuda as if to ascertain the effect of his words. Tsuda, trying to remain unconcerned, failed.