Light and dark

[56]

THE REST of the time O-Nobu spent with her aunt’s family was unperturbing. A phantom picture of her husband lying abed in his night clothes and quilted jacket did, however, take shape in her mind as she raptly followed the play. The phantom she imagined had put down a book he had been reading and appeared to be observing her from the distance as she sat here in the theater. This made her happy; but in the instant when she essayed to meet his gaze, his eyes flashed a message at her: Don’t fool yourself. I was just taking a peek out of curiosity — you won’t find me having anything to say to a woman like you.

For allowing herself to be deceived, O-Nobu felt foolish. Whereupon the phantom Tsuda vanished like a ghost. At his second appearance, it was O-Nobu who declared, I’m not going to think about a person like you any longer! When Tsuda floated before her eyes a third time, she was inclined to dismiss him with a tsk of her tongue. Since her husband hadn’t entered her thoughts even once before she went to the dining room, O-Nobu would have said that she was experiencing this relentless activity in her mind after dinner for the first time. She tried comparing these two different versions of herself. And she was unable to avoid silently naming Madam Yoshikawa as the party responsible for the dramatic change. Somewhere in her mind she felt certain that this troubling phantom would not have materialized had they not dined tonight at the same table. However, asked to identify what it was about the lady that had acted as a fermenting agent in brewing this bitter liquor, or in what manner it had made its way into her brain, O-Nobu would have been helpless to provide cogent answers. Her data were simply unclear. Nonetheless she had reached a comparatively clear conclusion. Undaunted by the insufficiency of her data, she saw no reason to suspect that her conclusion might be flawed. She firmly believed that Madam Yoshikawa was at fault.

O-Nobu feared encountering Madam again when the play ended and they gathered once again at the teahouse. But she also felt inclined to probe deeper. Though she was resigned to the fact that no opportunity would present itself in that brief moment of milling confusion when everyone was hurrying away, her curiosity peeked out from the shadow of her desire to avoid another meeting.

Happily, the Yoshikawas had chosen a different teahouse, and there was no sign of Madam Yoshikawa. As Uncle Okamoto wrapped himself in a heavy-looking cloak with a fur collar, he turned back to O-Nobu, who was pulling on her own coat.

“Why not stay with us tonight?”

“Oh — that’s kind of you.”

Neither accepting nor declining the invitation, O-Nobu glanced at her aunt with a smile. Her aunt glared at her uncle as if to say, “Not a care in the world — it’s appalling.”

Perhaps he didn’t notice, or perhaps he noticed but didn’t care, but Okamoto repeated the invitation in a more serious tone than before.

“Please stay if you’d like — no need for formality with us.”

“Listen to Mr. Hospitality. Do you realize they have only one maid and she’s waiting for this child to come home? She can’t just stay out!”

“No, I suppose you’re right. Not with one maid all alone in the house.”

Okamoto abandoned his idea readily; it seemed clear he had asked merely for the sake of asking and had been unconcerned with the outcome from the beginning.

“I haven’t stayed over one night since I married Tsuda.”

“Is that so? You’re a paragon of virtue.”

“I certainly hope not — Yoshio hasn’t stayed out either, not once.”

“That’s how it ought to be. Side by side as a couple, never faltering.”

“No greater joy, no sweeter bliss.”

Repeating in a small voice one of the lines from the play, Tsugiko, as though dismayed at her own forwardness, turned bright red. On purpose, Okamoto nearly shouted.

“What’s that?”

Embarrassed, Tsugiko walked briskly toward the gate, pretending she hadn’t heard. The others followed her outside.

As he was stepping into his rickshaw, O-Nobu’s uncle spoke to her.

“If you can’t stay with us that’s fine, but do drop over sometime in the next few days. There’s something I’d like to ask you.”

“I have something to ask you as well, and I want to thank you for today. Tomorrow maybe, would that be convenient?”

“Oh-yes-please!”

As if this English were a signal, the four rickshaws sped on their way.