Light and dark

[84]

ACCESSING HER husband’s domain at a time when he was still unknown to her was hugely interesting to O-Nobu. She prepared eagerly to attend Kobayashi. But when he began to speak, his stories were inconclusive. And when they were heading toward something of importance, he abbreviated them. For example, he touched on a scene when the two of them had been stopped at a police checkpoint in the middle of the night but left blurred any account of where they might have been until that late hour. When O-Nobu inquired, he merely grinned at her knowingly. She couldn’t help wondering if this behavior might be calculated to irritate her.

O-Nobu had never taken Kobayashi seriously. Behind her contempt, based partly on the standard set by her husband’s evaluation and partly on a belief in her own intuition, was yet another determining factor she had never revealed to anyone. This was simply that Kobayashi was poor. That he had no social standing. In her eyes, editing a magazine with no readers could hardly be considered reputable employment. The Kobayashi she saw wandered aimlessly though life with the look of the outcast eternally on his face. As if in a panic, he lurched from place to place, whining like a vagrant and spewing abuse.

But this variety of contempt was always accompanied by a measure of suspicion. This was particularly so for a woman unaccustomed to this class of person, a young woman at that, with meager experience. In the event, this was how O-Nobu felt as she faced Kobayashi. It was by no means the case that she had never until now met people as poor as he. But the people who were in and out of Okamoto’s household knew their place; understanding that there were differences in rank and station, they dared to act only inside the sphere that was open to them. Never in her life had she had contact with a person as impudent as Kobayashi, who took such liberties, spoke with such self-importance though he had neither wealth nor position, vilified the upper class so vociferously — this was a first.

Abruptly something occurred to her.

Is it possible this fellow I’ve always considered a fool is actually a cunning scoundrel who can make a lot of trouble?

As the suspicion lurking behind her contempt stepped boldly forward, O-Nobu’s attitude abruptly changed. Whereupon Kobayashi, possibly as evidence that he had registered the change, and possibly in indifference, loudly guffawed.

“Mrs. T! There’s a lot more — things you’d like to know.”

“Is that so? I think I’ve heard enough for today. If you tell me everything at once I’ll have nothing to look forward to.”

“Maybe you’re right — shall we call it a day? If you have a fit because I’ve upset you, Tsuda-kun will hold me responsible.”

O-Nobu turned around. Behind her was a wall. She made a show of straining to hear evidence of O-Toki coming from that direction. But the kitchen, just beyond the sitting room, was quiet as before. O-Toki, who should have been back long ago, had not returned.

“Where could she be?”

“She’ll be back. She’s not about to get lost, so you needn’t worry.”

Kobayashi didn’t budge. With no other choice, O-Nobu used the empty teapot as an excuse to rise, but even here he intervened.

“Mrs. T! Since we have time I can continue where I left off; there’s plenty more to say. With a ne’er-do-well like me, talk is just as cheap as silence for killing time, so you don’t have to stand on ceremony. What do you say? I think there are plenty of things Tsuda-kun has kept from you in the name of, what shall I call it, propriety?”

“Perhaps—”

“He’s not as frank as he seems.”

O-Nobu shuddered. There was no way she could avoid secretly affirming Kobayashi’s assessment, and the fact that it was so precisely on the mark wounded her even more. How rude he was, she thought, looking at him, with no understanding of her own position. Heedlessly, Kobayashi repeated himself.

“Mrs. T! There’s a lot more that you don’t know.”

“What if there is?”

“Things you’d want to know.”

“I’m sure I don’t care.”

“Let me put it another way: what if I said things you really ought to know! You still don’t care?”

“That’s right, I don’t!”