Light and dark

[160]

KOBAYASHI WAS skillfully reeling Tsuda in. Tsuda knew it, but he had his own agenda and allowed it to happen. The time came when they were obliged to enter dangerous territory.

“For example,” Kobayashi said. “You were obsessed, weren’t you, with that Kiyoko-san? For quite a while she was all you could think of. And you were sure you were the only man in the world as far as she was concerned. So how did that work out?”

“It didn’t.”

“That’s all you have to say? Simple as that?”

“There’s nothing I can do about it.”

“I wonder. Even if there were, you’re probably too stuck on yourself to make a move. Or maybe you’re already hard at work and just hiding it from me.”

“Don’t be an imbecile! If you talk that kind of drivel, you’ll create a terrible misunderstanding. Get hold of yourself.”

“The truth is—”

Kobayashi interrupted himself with a look on his face that seemed to suggest that Tsuda must know what was coming. Tsuda wanted urgently to hear the rest.

“The truth is?”

“The truth is, I told your wife the whole story.”

Tsuda’s expression changed instantly.

“What story?”

Kobayashi was silent a minute, as if he were tasting deeply of his companion’s tone and countenance. When he finally replied, his attitude had changed.

“Just kidding. Really. There’s nothing to worry about.”

“Who’s worried? Why should I care if you tell tales on me about something like that after all this time?”

“Not worried? Fair enough. Then I might as well tell you. Actually, I did tell her the whole story.”

“You go to hell!”

Tsuda had raised his voice inappropriately. The waitress, who had seated herself daintily in a chair, turned her head slightly and glanced in their direction. Kobayashi was quick to make use of this.

“Lower your voice, you’re startling the ladies. It can be so embarrassing to dine out with a hooligan like you.”

He flashed a smile in the waitress’s direction. The girl smiled back. Tsuda could hardly be angry all by himself. Kobayashi was quick to take advantage of this as well.

“How did that end? I never heard details and you didn’t say anything — or maybe you did and I’ve forgotten, it doesn’t matter. Did she run away from you or was it you who ran?”

“What does that matter?”

“It doesn’t to me. But it must matter a lot to you.”

“Naturally, it does.”

“There you are. It’s what I’ve been saying all along. You have too much latitude. And that makes you extravagant. The result is, the minute you acquire something you like, you want the next thing. But when something you like gets away, you stamp your feet in chagrin.”

“When have I ever behaved that way?”

“Believe me, you have. You’re behaving that way now. It’s the price you pay for your latitude. And it’s what gives me the keenest pleasure. It’s the Karma principle, poverty taking its revenge on affluence.”

“If you enjoy judging people based on notions you’ve fabricated, go right ahead. There’s no need for me to defend myself.”

“I’m not fabricating any notions. I’m specifying things that are actually at work in you. If you don’t understand that, maybe you’d like a lesson illustrated with facts?”

Tsuda neither requested nor declined a lesson and had in the end to become a student.

“You married O-Nobu-san because you wanted her, right? But I can’t imagine you’ll tell me you’re satisfied with her now.”

“Nothing in this world is perfect.”

“But of course. And that gives you the right to look around for a superior choice?”

“What gives you the right to vilify people? The truth is, you’re the lout you were calling me. Your obscene, cynical observations, the insolence of what you say, your crudeness, you’re nothing but a thug through and through.”

“And that makes me worthy of your contempt?”

“You bet it does.”

“So you see, words alone are useless with you. Unless there’s an actual battle, you’ll never get it. Mark my words. The battle is about to begin. Only then will you finally understand the sense in which you’re no match for me.”

“I don’t care; it will be my honor to lose to a cunning scoundrel.”

“You’re so stubborn. It’s not me you’ll be fighting.”

“Who then?”

“You’re already fighting inside. And it won’t be long until that battle emerges in the form of actual behavior. Latitude will incite you to a losing battle for nothing at all.”

Abruptly Tsuda took a wallet from his kimono and thrust at Kobayashi the money he had set aside as a farewell gift in consultation with O-Nobu.

“You’d better take this now. Talking with you is making me feel unhappy about keeping my promise.”

Kobayashi fanned the new ten-yen notes folded in two and carefully counted them.

“There are three tens here.”