Light and dark

[75]

BEYOND THE fact that the children were classmates, O-Nobu’s presence in the picture added a distinctive coloring to the recent interaction between the two families. The prospect of having to gather in the future willy-nilly at auspicious and inauspicious moments required both sides, to the extent that circumstances permitted, to arrange opportunities to socialize on a regular basis. Okamoto, who represented the bride’s in terests, was, even more than Fujii, in a position that placed him under this obligation. Furthermore, Uncle Okamoto was possessed of a kind of tactfulness that is often found in successful people. He was also inherently optimistic and generous. But he was a nervous man and feared misunderstandings. He was particularly afraid of being seen as arrogant, a quality people relatively less fortunate were prone to impute mistakenly to those leading lives of ease. Recently, having taken a step back to a somewhat quiet place, an attempt to restore his health after long years of too much work and study, he also enjoyed an abundance of free time and took pleasure in filling the emptiness of his leisure hours with a mosaic of things that accorded with his tastes. This included developing an interest in gradually approaching people he had neglected until now as having no connection to himself.

This tangle of reasons prompted him from time to time to set out for Fujii’s house. Fujii, who appeared to be reclusive, made no effort to repay Okamoto’s visits formally, but neither did he seem displeased by the intrusion. On the contrary, the men took pleasure in their conversations. And while they never managed to reveal themselves to each other in any depth, they found it interesting to exchange glimpses of their respective worlds. These worlds were oddly incongruent. Something that appeared coarse and slapdash to one seemed highly refined to the other; vulgarity from one point of view was of practical interest from the other, and in the space created by the disparity between them, unexpected discoveries abruptly emerged.

“I suppose you’d call him a critic, a fellow like that. But I don’t see what kind of work he could do.”

O-Nobu wasn’t sure what her uncle meant by a critic. Someone who was useless in any practical way, she supposed, obliged to pull the wool over people’s eyes by saying things that sounded momentous.

A man with no occupation who simply plays with logic — what use would society have for such a person? Isn’t it to be expected that a man like that would be in trouble because he was unable to earn a respectable living?

Unable to advance beyond this, O-Nobu smiled at her uncle.

“Have you been to Fujii-san’s recently?”

“I stopped off on my way back from a walk the other day. That house is in a perfect spot to stop when I’m feeling tired and need a rest.”

“Did he have interesting things to say again?”

“He has odd thoughts as always, that one. Last time we talked all about men attracting women and women attracting men.”

“Goodness!”

“Such nonsense, at his age!”

O-Nobu and her aunt expressed their respective dismay, and Tsugiko looked away.

“It’s a funny thing. You have to admire him for considering things as carefully as he does. According to the sensei, in every household the male child will inevitably desire the mother and the female child will desire the father. And when you think about it, of course he’s right.”

O-Nobu, who preferred her uncle in-law to her real aunt, turned a little serious.

“And what about it?”

“It goes like this: if men and women aren’t constantly attracting one another, they can’t become complete people. In other words, there’s an inadequate place inside each of us that we can’t complement on our own.”

O-Nobu’s interest quickly waned. Her uncle’s observation was no more than a fact she had known for a long time.

“That’s just the male-female principle. Opposites attract.”

“Yes, the attraction part is essential, but what’s interesting is that the opposite is essential too — discord instead of harmony.”

“Why?”

“It’s like this: the male and the female are attracted because they have their respective differences. As I said—”

“And?”

“Well, the different part isn’t you. It’s something different from yourself.”

“I don’t—”

“Follow along. If it’s different from yourself, there’s no way you can come together with it. All you can do, forever and ever, is remain apart. It’s clear as day.”

Her uncle cackled as though he had vanquished O-Nobu. O-Nobu refused to cry uncle.

“That’s just theoretical.”

“Of course it is. It’s logic that will hold up splendidly no matter how you look at it.”

“It isn’t. It’s zany. It’s just the kind of false logic that Uncle Fujii throws around.”

O-Nobu was unable to talk her uncle down. But she couldn’t bring herself to believe in what he was saying. No matter what, she didn’t want to believe.