Light and dark

[116]

TSUDA TURNED over in his mind one unresolved issue after the other, and when he noticed the time, it was past noon. His brain was tired. He had lost the courage to continue considering anything more at length. But there was too much daylight left, even though it was autumn, to simply lie in bed. He began to feel bored and turned his thoughts back to O-Nobu. It was unreasonable of him to have expected her to show up again today. He had spent hours dwelling on matters best concealed from her for her sake, and the minute he had tired of such considerations he had expected, complacently enough, that she would soon arrive. It hadn’t even occurred to him to absolve himself of any responsibility for thoughts that had naturally risen to his mind. Just as he perceived things in O-Nobu that defied his understanding, he was also hiding things from her — the thought may have been at work on him in the background of his consciousness, but even such a notion wasn’t about to articulate itself in words until a crisis was at hand.

Time passed, and O-Nobu failed to appear. Neither, of course, did the person he was awaiting more eagerly, Madam Yoshikawa. Tsuda was annoyed. For some time he had been assaulted by a voice nearby practicing his least favorite song passage from the Noh theater. Abruptly he recalled having seen an oblong sign advertising “instruction in Noh recitative.” It was hanging in front of a two-story house diagonally across the street from the laundry. Apparently the second floor had been turned into a rehearsal studio; in view of the distance, the rising and falling cadences reached him at an astonishing volume. Unable to think of a reason that would give him the right to interfere with someone’s arbitrary behavior, he could do nothing about his disgruntlement. He could only wish devoutly to be discharged from the hospital soon.

Behind the willow tree was a red-brick warehouse; to the left and right of a company crest, an inverted “V” for mountain with a single line beneath it, two large spikes with right-angles at the end protruded from the wall. As Tsuda gazed at them vacantly with eyes that were scarcely focused and wondered what they might be for, he heard the sound of footsteps hastening up the stairs. He winced. From the headlong sound it was easy enough to surmise with some confidence whose footsteps they were.

His prevision quickly became reality. He turned toward the open door and at just that moment, clad in his newly acquired overcoat, Kobayashi strode into the room.

“How goes it?”

Kobayashi sat down on the tatami at once, his legs folded beneath him. In place of a greeting, Tsuda smiled uncomfortably. He was already wondering, seeing Kobayashi’s face, why he had come.

“Have a look,” he said, thrusting the arm of the overcoat at Tsuda. “Thanks to you, I’ll survive another winter.”

He had said exactly the same thing to O-Nobu, but Tsuda, who had received no report from her at yet, missed the irony.

“Your wife must have dropped in?” he continued.

“Of course — why wouldn’t she have?”

“She must have said something?”

Uncertain whether to reply yay nor nay, Tsuda hesitated. He wanted to know what Kobayashi had said to O-Nobu. Either response would do so long as it prompted him to repeat himself. But in the instant the choice had to be made, he couldn’t decide which was more likely to succeed. His silence affected Kobayashi in an unexpected way.

“She was hopping mad, wasn’t she? I thought so.”

Tsuda leaped at this obvious opening.

“Because you tormented her.”

“I did no such thing. I teased her a tad too much, poor thing. Did she cry?”

Tsuda was surprised a little.

“You said things that would make her cry?”

“You know me, just my usual drivel. The problem is, your missus doesn’t realize that despicable characters like me even exist — that’s what happens when you grow up in an upper-crust family like the Okamotos. So every little thing appalls her. You should teach her not to get involved with a scoundrel like me and she’ll be fine.”

“I have taught her that, I’m trying,” Tsuda countered in kind. Kobayashi laughed aloud.

“It appears she could use some more lessons.”

Tsuda changed his tone.

“But how did you tease her?”

“You must have heard from O-Nobu-san.”

“I didn’t.”

Their eyes met. It was clear they were attempting to fathom each other’s thoughts.