Russia in 1839 -Empire of the Czar: A Journey Through Eternal Russia

126CHARACTER OF WORLDLY PLEASURE.

pleasures in appearance their happiness. Beware of grace in woman, and poetry in man — weapons the more dangerous because the least dreaded !

Such were my thoughts on leaving the Avails of Kronstadt: Ave were still all together, but Ave Avere no longer united. That circle, animated, but the previous evening, by a secret harmony Avhich rarely exists in society, now lacked its vital principle. Few things had ever appeared to me more melancholy than this sudden change. I acknowledged it as the condition attached to the pleasures of the world, I had foreseen it, I had submitted a hundred times to the same experience; but never before did it enlighten me in so abrupt a manner. Besides, what annoyances are more painful than those of which we cannot complain ? I saw each individual about to re-enter his oavu path ; the free interchange of feeling Avhich unites those travelling together to the same goal no longer existed among them; they Avere returning into real life, Avhilst I Avas left alone to wander from place to place. To be ever Avandering is scarcely to live. I felt myself abandoned, and I compared the cheerlessness of my isolation to their domestic pleasures. Isolation may be voluntary, but is it on this account any the more sweet ? At the moment, everything appeared to me preferable to my independence, and I regretted even the cares of domestic life. I could read in the eyes of the Avomen the thoughts of husband, children, milliners, hairdressers, the ball, and the court; and I could ec¿ually read there, that, notwithstanding the protestations of yesterday, I was no longer an object of concern to them. The people of the North have changeable