Russia in 1839 -Empire of the Czar: A Journey Through Eternal Russia

of proud spirit from appearing pale before the scaffold of the morrow, they involuntarily burst into a loud and frightful fit of laughter : a nervous electricity triumphed for one moment over the bitterest anguish of the soul. The effort they had so long made to conceal from each other their feelings, had irritated the fibres of the brain: they were thus suddenly overcome by a sense of the ridiculous, the only emotion doubtless for which they were unprepared; and in spite of their efforts, or rather in consequence of their efforts to remain calm, their laughter became inordinate, and speedily degenerated into frightful spasms. The guards, whose revolutionary experience had enlightened them on the nature of this phenomenon, had pity on my mother — greater pity than, on a similar occasion, four years before, the less experienced populace of Paris had for the daughter of M. Ber-thier. The unhappy wife was carried away in convulsions : such was the last interview of this young couple, and such were the recitals that nursed my infancy. My mother had commanded these subjects never to be named to me, but the common people love to recount the catastrophes they have survived. The servants scarcely spoke to me of any thing but the misfortunes of my parents ; and never shall I forget the consecµient impression of terror which I experienced in my earliest intercourse with the world.

My first sentiment was that of a fear of life, a sentiment which must be more or less participated in by all, for all have their measure of woes to fill up. It was doubtless this sentiment which taught me to comprehend the Christian religion, before even I had been instructed in it. I felt from my infancy that my lot had been cast in a place of exile.